KILL THE DEVIL BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN
by AsamiShimoto
Summary: This story starts right after Andy is back from UC with Nick and she must face the most hurting truth: Sam has moved on. Will she fight to have him back or will she let him go?
1. Chapter 1

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. This is chapter 1 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _After episode 4x01…._

 _She woke up that morning with no intention at all to get out of the bed. After a week spent commiserating herself, she didn't want the world to see it. But she couldn't control her expression, and everyone would have noticed it in the end. Sam had moved on. He moved on. How could have happened? He told her he loved her. He told her. And it was true. It should have been. She remembered he made an extreme effort to say it. But again, he moved on._

 _Andy turned on the other side of the pillow, as she wanted to find a position to make all the pain stop. The light hit her face like truth, like a thunder in a rainy day. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes and saw his smile. She cried again, she cried as never did before, not even when she found out about Luke._

 _She closed her eyes, exhausted, consumed. The new girl was pretty. Very. VERY. They laughed together coming out of the station and his arm was around her neck. Ok, stop. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. She left and couldn't expect him to wait for her, again. That's why he moved on. But something told her she would have waited. You don't say I love you and then do this, because it's nonsense._

 _Andy turned again and looked at the alarm clock. She barely slept 3 hours and a full day was coming along. She needed to use all her energies for the best. She got out of the bed and directed to the bathroom, as a cold shower would have helped to wash away some of that killing feeling, but it didn't work. She quickly turned the water off and got out to stare at herself in the mirror behind the door. Worse than a ghost, she was much whiter. She shrugged her shoulders because she really didn't care. Nobody would have. Maybe Tracy or Dov .. or Nick. Not many people in the end. So, she decided she couldn't spend her entire time thinking about what would have happened if she stayed. It wasn't fair: whatever happened, there it was. Acceptance was not easy, but it was the only chance. Andy put some clothes on without caring too much, opened the window and turned the TV on after a week spent in pyjamas. It didn't take long to get ready. She grabbed her bag, put a change in and look for the keys. She went downstairs, looked for the safety helmet, elbow pads and knee pads. The bicycle was in the laundry, but she needed to get a little air in the tyres after all that time. She dusted it off a little and then jumped on it. The chilly wind of middle April hit her face. She rode long the street and quickly left the quiet of her suburb to dig into the traffic leading to the city centre. She laughed at thinking that it was such a chaos, worse than what was in her head._

 _The moment she turned into the parking lot of the station, she saw Tracy getting out of the car with Gail. "Hey" she turned removing her sunglasses. "wow hey, look who's back!" Tracy said louder to overcome the noise from the street. "Ready Andy?" seriously, seriously? "I've been better" she shot. Tracy got it immediately. "you know Andy that I'm here right? Whatever you need.." "Thanks Tracy, I'll remember that". "She's hot for him" Gail came up with her tone "Thanks for the support jerk, I'm glad that something stayed the old way!" Andy yelled at her, parking the bicycle at her usual place. She waited for the girls before going into the station. They walked through the place and went to the locker room. It was so hard to dress up and be back in that uniform. She was having to get the uniform in the right way when she jumped into Nick. He was late and from the look on his face he was tired. "Late nights again Nick? Thought you wanted to change habit.." she was pissing him a bit after all that he confessed about Gail " No way, my pal!" he answered back grinning like an idiot. She joined the group for parade and looked around. She was just looking when her gaze stopped at Ollie and then Sam. They looked at each other quickly, she slightly waved her hand to say hi. He wasn't alone of course. He looked different for what she saw with a glance: she could say that he wasn't shaving for a while and that nice shirt was showing his shoulders. She closed her eyes hoping to shut down her brain when Nick interrupted her thoughts. "It's worse than what you imagined, isn't it?" "Shut up, you're in trouble too.." "No, I'm not. She's still falling for me" "If you say so, Nick. But if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't smile too much the way you're doing pal!" "Why you say so? Listen I know how she lies… and she's lying… she wants me back, she made a mistake, she said she was sorry, I left, she didn't date anyone in my absence.. so.." "That's true, Collins. Did Dov tell you that?" "Yep." "Then take your chance, don't be an idiot. Don't play around." "That's why I asked her to talk later" "you don't miss a shot, man! I'm glad… she's more human with you so I like this thing!" They both giggled at that and silenced up when Frank started to talk. He gave instructions and orders for the day and divided the couple of partners in two groups: one would have worked with Detective Swarek and the other with Detective Callaghan. Not such a great news for Andy, but at least she wasn't with Marlo, going with Ollie that day. She would have worked with Cloe – the new cop, Chris and Luke. Tracy was in other cases at Gangs and Gail was there too. "OK, Robert Scott, 65 years old, arrested for aggression to his wife, spent 3 months in prison and got out again. His wife withdrew the charge last month." "How is it possible?" He should have stayed in jail. "I don't know, but we gotta do anything to send him back again.. a girl has been found dead 150 meters away from their house. Her parents are coming right here". They don't even let them grieve. Terrible. "Andy, you and Chris talk to anyone of the friends around the victim, Cloe and I will interrogate the parents. Try to structure the net, ok? We need to know how that ass lures his victim!" "Yes, sir!" They said together, turned around and walked to the braining room. They started from the whole documentation used 3 months before to find something useful. Chris wasn't a great speaker and Andy thanked him a lot for this. Talking was the last thing she wanted._

 _The day passed without any improvement and Callaghan became pissed off. Andy and Chris completed only a partial network of contacts and were still discussing about that when Ollie came in, ready for the Penny. "First night back McNally! Let's go for a drink, my turn to pay!" he said in a big smile. Andy was tired and annoyed about the violence story and the last thing she wanted was getting drunk. She politely refused Oliver's offer and said that she was going straight home. "Com'on Andy, it's just a drink! With your old Ollie" He said trying to convince her, but she was tired and wanted to avoid people. "Oliver.. thanks, it's very nice from you, but I just want to go home" Oliver eyed Chris who said "I'm not hearing anything here" and he added "we should have a little talk" He became suddenly serious and Andy got what he meant. "No Ollie, no. We don't.." "Oh yeah, we do. About how you feel." " you seriously think I wanna talk about how I feel? Oliver, it doesn't matter. Look, I'll be fine. I don't need to talk. He made his choice and all I need to do is accept it." Oliver looked at her, disappointed, maybe hoping for a very different answer. "Andy, don't be so cold, ok? It's not.. let's say this: if you need me, I'm here." "Thanks Ollie". She hated this kind of conversations. That's why she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't need people looking at her with compassion; she remembered that feeling of pity after she broke up with Luke. Everybody trying to be nice and careful with her. She let them do it, but not this time. At this thought, anger began to run into her veins. She helped Chris to up-date the board with the last details and then left for the locker room. That anger was growing silently and hungrily. She practically run out of the station, took her bicycle and went home. By that time, she was very angry. She wasn't a baby. She could deal with this. And she would have showed everyone._

 _After a quick visit to the nearest grocery shop, she lost herself in cooking. She loved it and loved how it relaxed her. It required precision and concentration, but also passion and devotion. She prepared her favourite recipe and then moved to the living room and switched the TV on. She ended listening to an economic discussion about the latest data on inflation, employment and salary. Not very interesting but the guy was able to catch her attention enough to make her follow the debate for a while. However, her nerves called for sleep and she jumped into bed. She took the phone to set a second alarm clock afraid of missing its ordinary on the bed table, when she noticed she missed 4 calls from Tracy and a couple of messages where she asked if she was ok. She threw the phone on the chair behind the room and went to bad. Again, she couldn't avoid to feel anger raising up from her chest. She was physically exhausted, but her head was already spinning, unable to calm down, she tried to think that all Tracy wanted was her happy friend back. And she knew she would have paid whatever necessary to put things back they were months before. With Sam in her life. With Jerry and Tracy planning their future. She felt guilty: she was so concentrate on herself that she missed the difficulties Tracy was going through to move forward. How poor she was as friend. She jumped out of the bed, took the phone and typed Tracy back. She proposed breakfast together. Tracy text back immediately, saying it was ok._

 _It was 5 o clock in the morning when she heard the first birds singing outside her window. Like a lullaby or a mermaid melody calling for her, until they woke her up completely. It was early but since she had slept much more than in the last week she felt the energy back in her body, so decided to go running._

 _She run for 13 miles when she remembered she had to have breakfast with Tracy. She speeded up back home and surprisingly found her set in front of her door with two coffees in her hand. She smiled and apologized, Tracy stood up asking for what possible reasons she did it. "It helps me emptying my mind Nash" "ookk.. so .." "No, no Tracy. Don't start again. I don't want to talk about it, ok?" "Andy, if you don't talk with me, who else do you talk to? You need this, not just you, everyone would!" "you're right maybe" said Andy after seconds "but I am not ready now, ok? If I will be or need, I'll knock at your door. You'll be first". "Fine, fine." They looked at each other and then Andy turned back to look for the keys left under a plant next to the door. "What a place to hide keys, McNally, my child would find them too!" "Shut up, I know, it just .. I didn't know exactly, it was 5 in the morning!" "yeah, when normal people stay in bed at the time, did you know?" "Shut up!" she was laughing now. "However, you need some recap about the last six months. Don't worry, we won't talk about him" she said as she noticed Andy eying her back. "Dov has fallen in love with Cloe. He has become such an idiot. You should see him, it's ridiculous .. and Gail, she spent half of the time talking and crying about Nick… she's sorry and they are back." "What?" Andy snapped back. "Oh yeah, they are. Ollie has divorced and now is dating someone new .. she's nice but he keeps her out of us, so I really don't know much about her." "Boy, Nash, what is this? You being a hell of a detective? You're chatting as a 80 year-old!" "the fact is that it looks like a show where everything is going well apart from me" Andy turned to face her friend and left the cup on the kitchen table. She knew what she was talking about. "Oh Tracy" she hugged her friend firmly and looked into her eyes. "you'll always have me. Always. Ok?" Tracy nodded and tried to convince herself of this truth, but she was still fearing to lose everything from one day to the other. That thought was still set in her heart and scared her more than anything else. Andy shook her a bit and raised her gaze. "Tracy, I promise. I'm here to stay as much as possible if you don't mind. Stop thinking about me dead. Or your mother. Or your sweet baby. If you don't, it will kill you" They hugged for a little. "Ready to screw up the world today?" "Oh yeah, McNally, you're really going to do it when you'll know it" Andy turned back and asked what was now. "Marlo is going to be your support officer for the next 2 months, Frank asked me to tell you" Andy dropped the piece of cake out of her mouth "What? Are you kidding me? This is not a joke, this is not a joke!" Tracy turned serious "She will" Andy grabbed the key, waited for her friend to leave the apartment and shout the door behind her. What the hell. Miss-compassion was turning into Miss Just-laugh-about-me._

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	2. Chapter 2

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. Additionally, you will probably notice that I am not English: feel free to make me notice mistakes or necessary corrections. This is chapter 2 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _She couldn't still believe that Frank assigned her to Marlo. She tried to convince him to switch with Nick, who was regularly on patrol with Oliver. Frank said she already knew Oliver and it was time for her to open her mind to new horizons. She would have argued about it, but obviously couldn't. That sounded as an insult. She turned around and left the office before she could say something that would have damaged her position. It had been two months since they worked together and as far as Andy tried to make any conversation decent, Marlo couldn't hide her aversion for her. By her side, Andy had avoided to say anything that could make things even more awkward that what they were. At least, she let her drive all the time. Driving kept her in her own world, so they didn't say much. All this was new for Andy: she was closing the world outside her heart, not letting go and not letting anyone come in. It was sad: she felt she was acting like him. She barely talked to him since she went back, even if he tried to ask her about how she was doing a couple of times. She carefully tried not to put too much attention in that question and she lied saying she was ok. Marlo was a good cop and a good person with more experience and perfectly able to make her notice every mistake, not to make her feel incompetent, but because 8 months away could have washed away some cop's habits, and Marlo knew it very well. Finally, in the last days she felt like they were starting to get on well with each other, and probably that was the best thing._

 _It was a Friday night when she told Andy that they wouldn't have worked that weekend as she would have reached her sister in Miami: she said she loved the sun and that rain was killing her. Andy laughed and agreed with her as she loved the sun and the beach too. Yes, sometimes they laughed and joked about something. She sounded sincere. "Any great plan in Miami?" "well, I am going to spend much time with my sister. I haven't seen her for a while and this time of the year is perfect, you know… not too warm and a little windy" "it sounds good" she looked at her and smiled "I'm looking forward to it! It would be much better if Sam would come with me, but he hates beach" "Really? I didn't know.." "Oh yeah, he refused the idea firmly" He never told her that and it didn't surprise her as he hid many things. He never shared anything with her, but he did with Marlo. Her silence spoke for her and Marlo quickly changed subject. "what will you do? Go camping again?" she said with a funny disgusting face "Oh no" said Andy, she dropped the idea after the sixth time she went to Alberta to have her kayak sessions "now it starts to be too crowded. That place is paradise when you can just listen to the wind and eagles sing for you" She turned and said with a smile. If Sam wasn't in the picture, she would have proposed her to go there together once, but that would have been too much. "Oh yeah, if you like freezing" "It's not that" she pointed out "it's the nature showing you its best side. Makes you feel the peace in your heart" She parked the car at the back of the station and wished Marlo her best time down there._

 _She let her close the door, when heard Oliver knocking on the window and that almost caused her a heart attack. "What the hell friend, you want me to die?" "Sorry Andy, you join me at the penny?" "No, pal." "What's wrong with that place?" She hated it since she couldn't smile and have fun as before. She was trying to eliminate from her life everything that complicated her process to move on as she really wanted to. "I've found a new one downtown, not full of cops, just normal people." "You avoid me Andy?" She offended him and that wasn't her intention, so she hurried up saying that she met old friends down there and helped her to look at things with a new perspective. Oh boy, that sounded even worse. "so, you don't want us to go out together anymore?" said Oliver annoyed by the whole confession. No, no, it wasn't that. She was avoiding him to avoid Sam. She was trying to cut whatever reminded her the love for that man. She lowered her gaze, she didn't know what to say. "Don't punish me Andy, I have nothing to do with that" "I know Ollie, I don't mean that, but you remember me him and I am trying to move on, that's it". "That's it" he repeated "I'm sorry Ollie, I wish it was easier but it's not." He rushed his beard from his face, nodded, kissed her on a check and said he understood and told her he cared about her friend, not to cut him off the way she was doing with everyone. She was becoming just work and it was true. She had spent many days working with Luke on cold cases and stayed up at night to close them as soon as possible and keeping her mind busy made her life improving. It was a temporary break to all that mess. The positive side of all this was her becoming a good cop and she was even starting to think to become detective, which was why she asked Frank to continue to work with Luke, the best at this. Her relationship with him was long over and they could focus on everything without jumping back to the past, they even laughed sometimes about what they would have been now. He never showed her any old interest in her and that was enough to let her work serenely. She was learning a lot and Frank didn't hide the need for extra arms on cases. Luke was great, an excellent teacher and it was funny feeling a rookie again. And being a rookie on the streets with Marlo was funny too and despite her mood was much better than weeks before, Nash expressed some concerns about these new attitudes she was showing. Andy told her it was good as she was moving forward._

 _But that night, after seeing Ollie walking away to join the crew at the Penny she remembered she had the entire weekend to enjoy: she planned to go running as usual and then to spend some time with Nash. She went home, took off her clothes, had a shower and went to sleep. She was dreaming about palms and sand and fruit drinks when her phone rang. She opened her eyes, it was almost morning, around eight. The name Sam was lightening the display of the phone. She simply looked at it for a while, hoping him to give up, but he didn't, so she picked up the phone. "Alleluja, McNally." He snapped "Hey, what's up?" she said. That was the kind of conversation she could have with him when he needed help at work. This was the only possible reason for him to call her. "need you at the station, a dead body has been found and no one can come down here. They drank too much last night. Only you and Caroline" She was the new rookie. "I'm there in an hour", she said hanging up without waiting for his answer. She arrived at the station one hour later and found Sam handling with tons of documents and photos shot at the crime scene. He wanted her to structure the net and try to draw a timeline of the events. "we need to do this before they bring here the suspect this 'noon." "this afternoon? Really?" "yep. They got him 3 hours away from here, at Albay" "trying to escape?" "yes, if we're lucky we should close the case soon" he barely looked at her, but she didn't notice. She did. She didn't! She did, it was still hurting... She observed the colour of his hair, it seemed darker than the last time, the line of his ear and his neck, when Caroline got her. She blanked at her and prayed her not to make question. Going at the station had been a bad idea. She dropped her thoughts and approached the blackboard to construct the net._

 _She was in the middle of writing and speaking with Caroline about what the witnesses had been reported to the police when Sam interrupted her" what's that?" "the net you asked for" he looked at her puzzled, disapproving "do it again" he said, sharply "doing it this way it is more useful" she said, still looking at him. He glanced back hoping her to obey at his orders, but she wasn't his rookie anymore - he forgot about that part. She tried to explain "Luke says and has proved me how useful is constructing the net from the centre and not from the top, so you can modify relations better and you can see easily if something has no sense at all" she almost barked back, fiercely, convinced and ready to fight. She has been away for a while, she wasn't a detective, but she knew she was right. He looked back at her with anger in his face, holding that piece of paper trying not to lose control. Immediately, she thought she has gone too far. Luke, there it was her fabulous mentor. The best detective of the division, the ex/fiancé she was defending. The one she worked with and laughed with and eaten with at lunch with no problem at all. Andy got scared by that look and tried another approach by saying "let me complete it and then you judge" but he still held that expression. He finally looked away and left the room to go for a coffee. He was mad, clearly, but he knew he didn't have any right to tell her what he was thinking about her and Callaghan working together. He left those thoughts running in his veins until he turned around to observe her from the other room, through the glass. She was precisely operating details with Caroline and he could notice how well she was doing it, thanks to Homicide. He also noticed she was slimmer than the last time he looked at her closely, but she still had that beautiful colour of her hair, the red reflex was still shining under the light. He didn't say anything to Marlo about him working that weekend and he could not say to her that he had worked with her. He knew how she would have reacted as she still believed that he was falling for Andy. Was it true? Wasn't it? She didn't look for him when she came back and he guessed she considered it over. She wasn't looking into the past, at least not thinking about him. He remembered her working with Callaghan in the last weeks and felt something moving inside, but he guessed that it was pretty normal considered they had been together._

 _His phone rang as the suspect was at the station, the custody was his responsibility. He called Andy and Caroline, for the interrogation. Caroline stayed behind the glass, while Andy would have supported him with questions. As she started to talk, he noticed how far she must have worked with Callaghan about interrogations. She was good, pretty good. And sensual. No! No, no, wait. A voice inside him shouted out loud. She was good, professional as she wanted to be. "Bad cop and good cop?" she asked before getting inside. He raised and eyebrow and smiled. Like old times. She shily smiled back as she didn't want to feel the enthusiasm pervading her heart. She was still under his effect. "you bad cop first and then we exchange" that was a news for him, but he jumped in without discussing. Observing her being the bad guy would have been fun. Stop Swarek. Be responsible, what Marlo would say about this? "let's go then" he pushed the handle and then walked inside the room, Andy before him. She set down nicely, reading the accuses to him. That man was shaking and really didn't look like a killer, but he could have been under drug effects. He was around his sixties and his look made her think he should have had a hard life. She offered him water and stared at him while he was drinking. Sam stepped in making him a sequence of questions, pushing him, while Andy was studying his reactions, the way his body was moving. She couldn't get the entire picture, he was behaving differently at every step. She wasn't convinced at all about that guy. Sam looked at that man and shared a look with Andy. They got out of the room to discuss about it. "He's hiding something" "I don't know. He was shaking all the time, you've seen it. That man is not able to kill a butterfly" Andy was still confused and proposed another approach. "I wanna try something, would you let me?" Sam looked back in her eyes. The light brown colour with the yellow lines barely noticeable. He trusted her, so he gave her faith. She had perfectly read his previous statements and had all details of this man. "So, mister Johnson's" "just john" "just john" she said smiling "you're from Alabama, am I right" "you can say it, sweetie!" he laughed aloud and she joined him "a lumberjack for 45 years, one wife, two children, moved here for a passion in woods and nature" " you say it right, sweetie" She could smell alcohol in his breath. "and three nice nephews! Worked hard for the family!" "yep" he proudly said, moving on his chair. Andy took notice of that. She was trying to construct a link with the guy, to make it appear a nice, comfortable conversation. On the other side of the room, Sam was wondering why she was taking her time. "a beautiful grandchild. Alice, 15, congratulations" "she's my princess" "and she lives with you right?" "yep" "must not be easy to deal with teenagers today. You know, smartphones, social network, we must be careful what's around out there. I remember my father, he was a detective. I could never make a step without him to know the details" "you've been raised in the right way ma'am!" "And I guess you do the same, it's on your face" she said smiling again. He laughed aloud again, feeling a connection with her. And she wanted him to feel it. "Don't even ask you about the boys, they must throw at her!" "I know how to face them. Alice is nice, she's pure and must be protected from all the shit around her. All those idiots not knowing what to do with their lives .. and the girls around her, some are really disturbed, dressing up as prostitutes at 15! My girl will never be like that" His anger rushed his voice, his conviction told Andy they were going in the right direction. "I can understand that worry. You know, she may end up in some wrong place, or someone can introduce her to" "exactly" his smile was even bigger this time, but Andy didn't let him enjoy it "so this is why you killed her best friend" "yes!" he said in fury, but then he corrected instantly "no, wait, that's not what I meant" " and what did you mean exactly?" he lowered his gaze and said he wanted a lawyer. Andy turned around and stared at the mirror, proudly. On the other side of the glass, Sam couldn't believe it. She made it in minutes, she played him and get it, easily, she made it look like simple. He stared at her with eyes wide and full of surprise. The new stunning Andy worked hard for weeks to become like this. He felt proud of what she was._

 _Callaghan was training her magnificently, but Andy had the talent. She left the room to meet Sam outside waiting for her. "Can I go home now?" she asked, faking arrogance "No, we have a lot of papers to comply before sending him to prison and since you've been so good, you'll do it." She knew what to do as Luke never wanted to do it by himself. "Ok, two hours and I'll go home then!" She nicely pointed out._

 _The next morning, she woke up to go running the usual. The sun was raising quickly, and she didn't want to miss her moment of peace at Dovery Park. When she arrived at the station, she looked for Tracy and Gail, but they saw her first. Nash looked like thrilled. She enjoyed that expression on her face, it was rare. She gently took her arm and confirmed they would have worked together for all the next week. There would have been Luke too, but at least they were together. "What did you do last weekend Andy? I thought you would have come to my place!" Andy lied "I stayed at my father's. Sorry I haven't called. You know, he hasn't seen me for a while, so.." "Ok, is he fine?" "Yeah sure, he's better in fact. He's recovering from a bad flu". They were interrupted by Oliver, approaching, he grabbed the other arm. "What's that face for?" she asked, "Since when Monday is so exciting?" "Since this weekend, Andy" Oliver replied holding her gaze. "What did you do last weekend, Andy?" he asked her still looking in the eyes, then turning, smiling and full of hope, forcing her not to look away. Tracy was faster than Andy who tried to open her mouth "She stayed at her father's!" Oliver nodded vehemently, laughing and giggling. Damn it, he knew. Sam must have told him. She wrote her name on the register, so everybody could have noticed. Marlo too. Oh shit. OH SHIT. She looked at Ollie again, who was really enjoying his moment. Tracy stared at him for a couple of seconds and her mind started to run, her detective instinct analysing, right there on her face. "Wait a second" she stopped suddenly "you lied to me" Andy closed her eyes. "How could you survive to the last UC lying so badly?" "Tracy, here hearts and feelings screwed her up" Oliver said proudly. "So, Andy, what did you do last weekend?" "I want a lawyer!" she said in a funny way, holding up her hands, trying to escape the conversation "She worked with Sam at a case" Oliver said, solemnly, lowering his voice. Andy rolled her eyes. "Ok, then what? Working is not a crime. You should take it from me, as we all know that I am working more than you these days" "Why you didn't say it?" "because I wanted to avoid that exact look, Trace!" she pointed at her face, annoyed by her implication "Have you seen the guy this morning?", Oliver added. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "You know, he didn't even need to say it, it was right there on his face. And your old pal got it. Andy, he wasn't even walking, he was flying". Andy shrugged her shoulders. That meant nothing. They were nothing. He had a girlfriend and she had to respect it, no matter what. They never talked after her leaving, but he made it clear. She saw him kissing her in the kitchen and that was enough. "It was just work. Period. Stop dreaming about it!" She speeded up and Luke reached her side "Oh hey, what a face!" "Good morning you too!" she replied, "I need you help me" he always had this bad habit to cut it off "They found a body at Rock Creek." Andy couldn't believe it. It was the third that month and she thanked not to live around that area, going running wouldn't have been safe. "if you find Nash, tell her we're going in 10 minutes, after parade!" he walked in his office and closed the door to answer the phone. That was a bad sign. A case with Luke meant days of working without going back home, if not to have a shower and change clothes. He disappeared, and her gaze moved until she ended up on Sam holding Marlo's hand. And that made her think that work would have become her new medicine._

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	3. Chapter 3

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. Some of you gave me powerful comments I keep in my heart. Thank you. You are a valuable source for me.  
This is chapter 3 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _Three months had fled away since Andy worked with Sam. Nothing had changed but she didn't expect to. She spent much time at the station moving to one case to the other. Those black eyes were saying she was tired, so tired that even Luke had noticed that. However, she felt good inside, every day lighter and lighter. "Your luck is, McNally, that I will be away this weekend and you can relax." He was asked to take part to a security committee and he probably would have been away for the next week. For this reason, Frank moved her under Swarek and Nash. She would have helped around, but Nash's baby was sick and none could take care of him, with Dex in prison and her mother out of town. Andy had to complete the minimum hours required to access the second part of the detective program. She needed to work to qualify. She wasn't happy about this last-minute change, but she couldn't do much about it. Oliver and Nash would have been around anyway. And Marlo would have been too, to check on her since the weekend story. If they were having some form of conversation before that episode, now, they barely said hi when meeting at parade or in the locker room. So, she decided to concentrate on the job, the only thing that mattered._

 _The next Monday she went to work with a very positive mood: she had spent the weekend in Alberta, went through an excellent kayak session where she had the luck to see a couple of otters sleeping hand in hand. She felt ready for the worst and the best._

 _Another drug dealer was found dead downtown in a garbage with his neck broken and blue lips. The coroner said he died by overdose. Heroin probably. She wrote everything on her note accurately and made pictures. Sam instructed her: the guy left the prison some weeks before. "I have his address, Sam" "All right, let's have a look!" They walked toward the car, jumped in and recapped while reaching the place. "Sam, I think I know the guy." He looked at her surprised. A bit worried maybe, but she cleared immediately that they arrested him months before, he was suspected of homicide. They couldn't link him to the crime but stayed in prison for drug possession. She remembered the case, but she needed to be back on those papers again. "So, he probably had a fight with someone he shouldn't have. He wanted to quit and leave the past behind so when his mate, Jordan Clarke, proposed to work again and he refused, they tried to eliminate him." "It sounds a good theory McNally". The apartment smelled of smoke and alcohol, an Irish liquor Andy recognized as her father's favourite. There was such a mess, everything was on the floor. "What were they looking for?" "Money or drug?" "Maybe both" Sam said in a laugh. Andy went to the bedroom and found a luggage opened on the bed, some clothes had been kindly folded, hiding a female touch. "He was trying to escape" "He knew they were after him." Sam completed her thoughts. "Ok, but why waiting three weeks to run?" "because something was keeping him here!" he supposed "Girlfriend or wife?" "I don't know.. there's no sign of a woman here." She pointed at the clothes and made him notice how they had been packed. Sam put the white gloves on and removed them. They found at least twenty thousand dollars in cash. "Oh-Oh" "And money will be!" she stepped back in the main room to call the forensics. "They are on the way" "What do you think McNally?" he smiled, ready for her next theory. That made him remember how much he loved listening to her theories when they were both cops. She eyed back to him and saw his brain running in some dimension she couldn't reach. "Ok, money come from drugs sale. He was working for someone, then had the great idea to keep the money to escape, but he didn't have the time, they wanted their money back and they killed him." Sam nodded, it had sense. They waited for forensics before going back to the station. On the way, Sam let her drive. Instead of leading him directly to the station they stopped at Starbucks "I need a coffee" she explained "Want some?" he agreed. She didn't ask him how he wanted it and supposed she remembered. His ego smiled like an idiot inside. He looked at her walking in the shop and meanwhile he called Epstein asking to track phones victims' calls and movements of the last 3 months, with credit card withdraws and whatever else he could find. Scott Ray had practically no story after being in jail, but there might have been something useful. With her coffee in her hands, she switched on the car. "You should eat in the morning" he said sipping and tasting the hot liquid inside. That might have explained why she had lost some weight. "I do, Luke thinks about it generally when he picks me up." Why was she all Callaghan thing? He almost coughed it off at what she said. Andy regretted that comment and observed Sam moving on his seat. He remained silent for the rest of the journey, wondering what she was doing with a man who caused her pain and he hoped she didn't forget it. He said something about the case in the end and studied her expression when she couldn't notice. The thought of her with Callaghan upset him and he put the coffee behind his feet. "It's not special, I know" she said, "Next time you choose the place". He looked back at her and wanted to say something, but she had already parked the car. Marlo approached and stared at those coffees, but didn't say a word. He didn't even think to bring her one. She up-dated them with the last information while walking toward the brain room, where she had already started to read Andy's old notes._

 _After 8 hours of research, Marlo and Sam were already at home, but Andy was still right there going through all the possibilities to understand why that guy had delayed his escape. She was examining an old file when she found a photo of a girl. She noticed a sign on her left arm that made her link to a place she knew. She had found the key of the puzzle. She jumped on the seat and called Sam instantly. It was around 10 o' clock and he made her notice when he picked up the phone. "What's up?" "Guess what?" "What?" "I know why he didn't leave" Sam switched on the lamp on the bed table. "Which is?" "He has a nephew. I think she stayed at the Doveblue Orphanage" she paused "There's more. Paul has just called me to inform us that last week a huge amount of cocaine has been impounded downtown". Sam swallowed his greatest fear "do we have a missing girl?" He already knew the answer, but he asked anyway. "I'm afraid so. We need you here" she said, trying not to think where his mind was going: the last time a girl was missing, Jerry died. "I'm on the way". He jumped out of the bed and put on a pair of jeans he took off just a couple of hours before._

 _When he arrived at the station, she noticed that he didn't even comb his hair. His cute expression was mixed with the childish concern on his face. That jeans and t-shirt combination was almost perfect, if the circumstances weren't so difficult. As he approached, she stopped chewing the bottom of her pen, blaming her conscience not to be concerned about that girl. "I called the orphanage, the director is coming here with Peck and Diaz" he took the photo and fixed the face in his mind. She looked at him, wondering if he could handle it at all. "Sam, I think we should go after that man while all the others look for the girl. And if I am right, she's with him. Epstein tracked her phone in a place downtown, but I don't think she's there." He turned to her, all ears. He nodded, before Trace broke into the room to say that ETF was ready to leave. "Epstein, send me Clarke address" he yelled at him over the chaos. They were all putting the vest on and checking their guns. Tracy saw them walking away to get another car and she had to have imagined what was going on as she remembered them they had no back-up. "We can't wait, Trace" They both looked at her. Sam knew she was right, if there was any chance to find her alive, they had to hurry up. "Marlo doesn't pick up the phone. I guess she took something for her headache and she's not hearing it!" He was on the driver side of the car and despite she wanted to drive too, she didn't argue. They jumped in and switched the siren on. Andy had the photo in her hands and was still trying to understand why he didn't move before. She turned around and asked Sam, again. And he felt her pressuring him for an answer he didn't have. "I don't know, damn it!" he was pissed off. How did they miss that she had been kidnapped? They spent an entire day and she was right under their nose. "Maybe you know it better than anyone else since running is your talent!" Another missing girl, as when Jerry died. This couldn't be happening again. She had to be alive. SHE HAD TO BE ALIVE. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly turned the face to see an incredulous Andy about what he just said. "I'm sorry Andy, I didn't mean… I don't even know why I said that.." She was silently looking out of the window. The anger on her face spoke for her, she shook her head and took a big breath. "What?" "Nothing, just nothing." "Say it, come on" It wasn't the right moment to have a fight, but he insisted anyway. "I had the chance to work at Guns and Gangs this week rather than work with you and I didn't as I don't like it very much. But I should have, Luke told me you're not a ruled detective and I should have listened to him. Instead, I thought he said it just to be my exclusive TO and not to share me with you" She barked back with anger. Did she really say that? He was kicking her for no reason at all and all she wanted was put him back to his place. "He's better than me, uh, is that what you saying?" He was losing control, too bad, stop, Swarek, stop. "I haven't said that. You did. For sure, you should learn not to let your personal life influence your job. It must be exhausting for those working with you." She said it in a breath, knowing she just went too far. That sentence made the blood boiling in his vein. This is not true! It sounded much worse than saying Homicide was better than him. "Oh, you're absolutely right, he's skilled, talented, professional, experienced, capable and he has always been honest with you McNally, why didn't you follow his advice then? Since you clearly trust him more than me, uh?" he was practically yelling at her, unintentionally, waving his hands in the air "I haven't said I trust him more than you." He was jealous, Sam was jealous, and he had no right to be. AT ALL. "You don't need to say it since you decided to give him a second chance even if he cheated on you!" What, WHAT? OH, SHUT UP! SHUT UP! "At least, he didn't lie to me" she said it with a low and calm tone that had nothing to do with his. The tension was so visible that it could be cut with a knife. He laughed nervously, from the deepest part of his chest. She was defending him, unbelievable. "Really McNally? When? When did I lie to you?!" That hurt him as he would have never done that, never. "When you told me that you couldn't be a cop and be with me anymore. And then, what have you done? You told me you loved me and you would have done everything you could to make us work, and then, you jumped in the sack with another woman as I stayed away for 5 fucking minutes, Sam!" I was the problem and you didn't even have the courage to look at me and say it. How coward you've been! Running away like a rat from a sinking ship! So please, you're not better than him, you're just like him!" He felt a knife passing through his heart, the pain took his legs, his arms, his chest and it expanded as poison reaching any part of the body it could achieve. He wasn't even able to reply, stared at the road with an empty mind trying to formulate what to say. "Let me guess, you don't wanna talk about it, right?" she was doing everything to control her voice, but it was too late. "Andy, you've never been the problem and you know that perfectly.." "Oh, I was. It took me plenty of time to get it when it was right in front of me! You, running away anytime something big showed up. And you know the funny part?" she paused looking at him, her voice in a thrill "I have been the one accused of running away but, apparently, it's much more popular than what you may think!" she paused again, to take breath this time "You never let me in, I hope she knows how it works with you. But I'm sure that Miss-I don't-make-him-questions-not-to-upset-him got it pretty fast, to keep things easy." Boy, she had just slapped at the back of his head hard as no one ever did, not even Oliver had._

 _They were approaching the place and she tried to calm down. Their priority was the girl, only that girl. She closed her eyes and swallowed, knowing to have cross some imaginary line once for all. She glanced back at him after a while and noticed he was grabbing the steering wheel with an incredible force, consuming him. This couldn't go well. They both needed to set aside that awful conversation. They parked two blocks away from the house as Sam switched off the engine. The lights in the street were weak and it seemed the fog was coming down, or maybe it was just in his mind. He looked at her once more and showed all his fear. That scene moved her so much that she grabbed his hand, firmly, to make him sure he wasn't alone in all that. He welcomed the gesture closing it with her. "It's going to be ok, Sam" she whispered in that noisy silence. "Sam… Jerry is gone. Let him go. Let it go. Stop fighting it back. Instead, we are here and we can make the difference and save that girl tonight. But I need you to be here, with me, to back me up in the way that only you can do and nobody else can." He took a big breath and she continued "I need back the Sam Swarek I know to do this, can you do that for me?" He brought her hand up to his lips and put a soft kiss on it. He nodded to her and she attempted a smile, then took a micro-headphone and passed it to him. "You go left and I go right, ok?" "Watch your back and do not make a move if you don't feel it. Call me!" Now was her turn to nod. They stepped out of the car and walked into the darkness._


	4. Chapter 4

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. Some of them have been encouraging and since it's the first time I publish a story, I need you guys to tell me what you think about it. This is chapter 4 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _They could hear only their steps; once in front of the house they separated: Andy reached the back and with the gun in her hand she communicated her position to Sam. But she didn't have the time as someone grabbed her and hit her hard on her head. She fell and tried to get up, but she couldn't balance. Her gaze blurred, and she felt warm below her ear. She was bleeding. When she finally got up, he had her gun pointed at her. "Do not even try to scream" he threatened, and she heard him taking the safety off. Sam was talking into the headphone to know if she was ready. He noticed that small thing in her ear and he made her smash it under the foot. "Let's go" they walked down to the river where a small boat was ready to leave. The girl of the photo was bandaged on her feet and hands; a piece of fabric was covering her mouth and her eyes. She wasn't moving; he must have read Andy's concern and he assured her she was alive. She checked anyway._

 _They jumped on the boat and he told her to row. "Faster, faster" he whispered. They reached the main flow of the river and stopped; on the other side, a car was waiting for them. "Let's go to get my money back!" He woke up the girl who started to scream. Andy did everything she could to keep her quiet as he had all intention to get rid of her. He only needed Andy for the money and the girl represented a problem. "Calm down, calm down!" she pushed her down to free her feet "I'm officer Andy McNally. What's your name?" "Emily" she replied terrified as he saw him pointing the gun at her. "Don't!" Andy pushed the gun away "You'll have the money back and we'll let her go, ok?" He started to wave the gun around dangerously screaming that he was the one making the rules. "shut up and get in the car, bitch!" He run his hand in the hair; his lost gaze made Andy understand that he had assumed drugs. "Handcuff yourself" he ordered her and at Andy's hesitation he pushed her head against the car violently; he looked at her obeying and then he pushed her inside the car and set next to the two women. As he did so the guy in the front got the car started. Andy focused on his face and she recognized the man she arrested with Luke a couple of months before. "Where are we going?" The drug deal took the radio from her belt and threw it out of the car "you'll see." He put a piece of fabric on her eyes and tied it on the back of her head; he did the same with her mouth, despite she fought him back as she could. The guy in the front turned around and hit her right on the left cheek bone, fiercely, enjoying it. That hit was so hard that forced Andy to land her head on the back of the seat. She was confused, her head hurt badly, and she felt losing control over her body, despite she tried with a huge effort to understand what would have happened next._

 _They wanted their money back, so she thought they were going to the station. The city was pretty quiet at that hour and it would have taken just minutes. When they reached their final destination, Andy and Emily were grabbed out of the car and he made them walk toward the entrance, the gun touching their back. They passed the main hall and only few cops were around as all the others were searching the girl out there. Gail watched them moving inside and dropped the gun out. "Let them go and put that damn gun down. Now!" In that moment, the drug dealer put the gun under Andy's chin. "You'll put it away and say everybody to leave the building or I'll kill both of them." He told her in a quiet tone, enough calm to scare even Gail. She hesitated for a moment and as he put a finger on the trigger, she touched the radio and communicate it. "Good girl!" he smirked back at her "Now, gently, you'll give me the key to close this place." Gail proceeded toward Frank's office and grabbed the key; the guy behind her pushed her toward the entrance and then out. The third guy moved on the back to close the other accesses to the station as he knew there were many. Then he positioned explosives in front of the door, with a timer, to be sure to keep everyone out of sight. "Now, officer, would show me where my money is?" he yelled at her ear._

 _Sam was running around the house desperately, calling Andy, screaming her name. He reached the back of the house but couldn't see anything. He broke into the place and cleared it while calling for immediate back-up. Ten minutes later, the street was full of cops with blue and red lights flashing and reflecting everywhere. Nick, Luke, Nash, Oliver and Frank ran toward him. "They grabbed her, she was on the back of the house and disappeared!" he said while Frank had already instructed ETF to search the house. Cloe walked through the garden and noticed blood drops on the white tiles of the pool. "Oliver, come down here, I've found something! Watch out, there is blood!" as she said so, Sam's heart missed a beat and felt the killing fear raising again. But it didn't last long fortunately as Frank received a call from the station. "What?" he hung up immediately and walked back to the cars. "They are holding her and the girl at the station. Diaz said they are looking for their money, he's handling it while we go there" He instructed to surround the building once there._

 _Nick followed Sam and grabbed the car key from his hand "She kills me if she knows I've let you drive!" Sam didn't complain and jumped in "Speed up, Collins!" He spent the entire journey thinking about the conversation they had minutes before and he blamed himself for what happened and that he didn't back her up the way she asked him. He closed his eyes in pain at that thought._

 _She honestly didn't know where the money was, despite she had turned upside down the evidence room and she still couldn't find it. He was getting really pissed and she had to hurry up as Emily was still under his sight. "Where is it? Where is it?" he was moving in circles, waving the gun. "I'm trying hard but here there's nothing!" "you'd better find it or she dies!" "I think they brought the amount at the evidence building…" The girl started to cry and Andy promised her to find it when she heard the sirens outside the building. He took Andy's arm and went back to Frank's office. The lights went off suddenly and she knew ETF was ready to come in. "Call them and ask them!" he yelled at her, she put the phone on speaker and then dialled Frank's number._

 _They were all outside planning what to do and how to get in; Diaz was recapping with details with Peck when Frank's phone started to ring "Frank it's me" her voice echoed in what looked like the inside of a van "McNally are you ok, both of you?" "We ok.." Sam let his breath go when he interrupted them "Where is my money?!" "Clarke, listen to me. Your money is not there; we can give it to you in an hour, but I need you to release them in turn." He started to move around again with anger "I already told her that I am making rules not you!" And Andy got that Frank couldn't give him the money without a warrant which meant a lot of time. She felt her fear raising. She was trying to plan if she could do something when she remembered that Frank had a gun in his desk – Sam had told her once. She checked the second guy still standing at the entrance. She had the vest on – she could do it. She watched back at Clarke, moving desperately, on the front of the desk and she unlocked her handcuff slowly. She removed them and put them on her lap, keeping the position. When she was sure he didn't notice she opened the drawer with her right foot. He was concentrated on telling Frank what to do to notice what was going on. Then he looked back at her. Emily watched her doing that and screamed indicating the entrance to distract him and Andy had the time to take the gun out and point it at him. "Drop the weapon!" he turned around and panicked and pointed the gun at the girl. The door was opened and if he shot, he wouldn't have missed his target. His intention became serious and she didn't give him time to act: she pulled the trigger and the bullet passed through his brain. "McNally, McNally! ETF go, go!" she barely heard Frank as she pulled the girl down the stairs as the other guy was after them. The entrance was still blocked, and no one could help her. She drove her to the interrogation room and told her to lock the door from the inside and go under the table._

 _Andy moved to the locker room holding the gun of the drug dealer and she didn't know if 5 shots would have been enough: there was a third guy she had to face. She hid herself behind the wall separating women and men sides, knowing there was a blind point to take advantage of and she saw the door guy running in her direction and she shot him on his right shoulder. He went down screaming as hell. The third guy found where she was, but ETF stopped him before he could approach her, and he dropped the weapon with no hesitation. She stood up and approached her victim lying on the floor, the gun on her left hand, unlocked and ready to shoot again. Frank, Sam, Nash and all the others reached her. Her breath was fast and irregular as she had run for miles. Sam lowered her arm, took the gun and put an arm around her shoulders, driving her toward his office, pulling her close to him. They were walking on the stairs where she remembered about the girl and ran back. "Andy, Andy!" he called after her, but she didn't stop. She reached the door and pulled the handle "Emily, open up, it's over!" She heard her unlocking the door and watched her opening it slowly. Emily threw herself in her arms and cried. She looked back at Sam who walked them to his office._

 _Andy spent the entire next day lying in the bed, doing absolutely nothing: the hospital had cleared her the night before, but she couldn't still get up and steady without feeling her head spinning around. Sam and Nash visited her for a three-hours deposition with frequent breaks, so she could keep up with the memory and the pain. Emily had been sent to the orphanage again, and a big part of Andy's heart was sorry about that. She probably hated that place. Specially because she had been given the chance and a dream to get out, even if for a few days.  
"Andy, once again, do you remember something he told you that may be important, did he work for someone else? You know, he might be just a small drop in the ocean…"she paused, looking at Andy expression, focused and concentrated as much as possible "No, Trace, he was high, he said stuff with no sense at all!" Sam approached them and asked Nash to talk to her privately. They left Andy room and for once she enjoyed the quiet and the silence of the place. When Nash came back her expression was much different. "what's up?" she barked to her friend. "don't worry, just try to sleep. I will be back in few hours, but now I have to go back to the station" Andy looked at her closer trying to get up, she knew when her friend was lying "what are you not telling me, Nash?" she roughly said in pain, her hands at both sides of her head. Trace hesitated a few seconds before saying it "Andy, we believe that Clarke's brother is after you and Luke. He found a guy watching his house from the street 3 times this week, he was dressed up as electrician and he thought he was just working. He has realised it only now. We will put you in protective custody. 6 agents are already outside your apartment and in the street.." Andy couldn't believe those words were true. That man was after her and Luke because they arrested him and accused him of drug possession months ago and now he was taking his revenge. She looked back at Nash, who already knew the question Andy was going to make "Is there any chance he knows that I killed his brother?" they both stared at each other. The answer was yes. Andy closed her eyes and lied back on the mattress and weighted her head on the pillow. "you will be safe here, Andy. You are surrounded by cops and it will be so until we find him" she knew that very well. "now, just try to relax and sleep, you need it." Andy didn't even reply, as the pain in her head was becoming bigger. She simply nodded and heard Nash walking out of the room, before falling asleep. _

_After three days spent doing absolutely nothing, her head was gradually improving and at least now she could walk. It was just after mid-night when she woke up thirsty; on the way of the kitchen, she paused to stare in the darkness outside of the window when she recognised a familiar car. A blue and brown car. Someone was setting inside: the man suddenly grabbed the phone which lighted up his face: that man was Nick. The rain outside was pounding hard and she could feel the familiar warming embrace she loved about rain. Then she noticed that there was another man setting next to him, but he was out of her sight and she couldn't recognise him. She moved from the window wondering why Nick was a member of the security set up for her; she was quite sure he volunteered, accusing himself not to have protected her. She had always been his little sister. Or at least that is what she thought she was, but she really never checked for that definition._

 _She went back to bed, knowing that nothing would have made him change idea.  
She tried to call him anyway, but he didn't pick up. She finally gave up and returned to bed, wondering what that man was thinking by dating a different woman and protecting and doing everything for her. Some deep part of her heart was warning her for trouble to come: a side of her was hoping but she silenced it immediately: that was Gail's man and number one rule of every friendship was staying away from friends' dates. What kind of person was she becoming? She would have never looked at that kind of man, and now what? She felt sorry at the idea of hurting Gail and immediately repressed that stupid feeling. Moreover, she had promised herself no other man would have caused her pain the way Luke and Sam did before. Friendship as a safe harbour to last forever.  
_

_Other two days filled Andy's head with these thoughts and the rain that was keeping falling down. By that moment, she had developed a habit to check whether Nick was out there every night. She imposed her not to fall in the trick, but every time she gave up too soon to resist. Until the night she saw the street empty: she checked around and no one of the other cops was standing out there. She panicked and called Nash, trying not letting go her deepest fear. "we got him, Andy, I was just going to send you someone to assure you we got them all, no one will hurt you anymore." She took a big breath and then asked who was going to come "Gail and Cloe are on the way, Andy. They should be there in minutes!" she was glad it was them. They knew how to cheer her up and make her feel safe.  
She waited 10 minutes to open the door, but when she heard them knocking, she opened up. The sad expression staring at her outside wasn't Gail or Cloe. Rain drops were running over his face along with tears. Wet from hair to feet and just standing on her threshold, she really didn't know what to say and what to do. She really didn't expect that, and she didn't know how to handle him, despite she had learnt to know him very well.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. Wish you are ok. Whatever war you are fighting today, don't give up.  
This is chapter 5 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _He was standing right there without saying a word. She was doing the same, but she broke the silence first. "What's going on?" there must have been a strong reason for him to cry like that. He turned around and tried to go away. "Wait!" she grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. She was confused and trying to understand, "Andy, I … " he paused to take a deep breath, and courage too. "I miss you", tears kept running on his face. She took his hand and drove him inside the apartment. She made him set on a seat in the kitchen and put some water in a small pot. He was sitting exactly where she put him, waiting for her to say something. But what could she possibly say? She turned around and saw a couple of eyes needing answers. "Andy, please say something" he whispered her. The semi-darkness of the room perfectly matched Andy's mind: there were things that stayed very clear to her, and never changed, but she still couldn't understand why they broke up, why he just walked away like that when he swore her that he wouldn't have without a fight. She called him for weeks, WEEKS. And again, he moved on effortlessly. "Sam, I am missing you too. But it is not enough to convince me that it is worth. You've never really talked to me, never let me in your life. What I told you in the car that night… well I said it in the wrong way, but I still believe what I said it's true" Sam closed his eyes and lower the gaze. "Andy, why didn't you give me a second chance?" "Because you hurt me like anyone ever did before. When I found out about Luke and Jo… it didn't hurt like that. And what scares me is that you could do that again." He stood up and got close to her "No, Andy, I wouldn't! I wouldn't!" she stepped back instinctively, in a sudden glimmer "Sam, all this doesn't matter anyway: you stay with her! Why are you here exactly?" He tried to formulate something while she was pouring some water in two cups. She asked him if he wanted some lemon, but he shook his head. "Maybe I shouldn't have come. I have no right to mess you up like this." "well, at least could you tell me the real reason why you left me?"he paused again, like he needed energy and strength to say it "I got scared. I wasn't ready to run the way you were doing. I never had a normal relationship, I never really let anyone put down all the walls and demons I live with, Andy. And you were pushing me, wanting more. And I couldn't keep up with you… or accept it so fast. And I didn't want to let you down. But I finally did it anyway, so.." he lift his shoulders waiting for her reaction, but she had none, she was just trying to process what he said. "ok, it has sense" she finally said. They shared silence for seconds and he tried to make a step forward, but she clearly said no with her body. That was pretty clear. "I should go" "yeah, right" "see you tomorrow." "good night." he walked to the door when Gail and Cloe knocked at it._

 _A week was gone since that night and they never jumped back on that topic: they worked together here and there, easily as in the old times, carefully weighting not to end up stuck in any awkward situation. Andy was working with Luke most of the time and that detachment made her calm and happy. That night she was back to the Penny for the first time after months: they all insisted her to be back with the crew and that overwhelming feeling made her feel her friends were her home and she felt sorry for abandoning them. "I offer tonight, order what you want!" she said abruptly reaching Trace, Gail, Nick and Diaz to the table they were sat. "So, McNally, we have to catch up these last weeks!" Trace said maliciously, while sipping her margarita. "easy on that stuff, Nash! You're out of your twenties!" she grinned at her "I'll never be too old!" she laughed back. When Ollie finally joined them, she raised the glass with the intention to make a short speak "since you are all here, I must thank you for the patience we have had with me in the last weeks… it's been tough, but today is a new day… and I'd like to inform you I'll soon become the new detective of 15 " a general wow came out and they all congratulated with her for the success. She had the date sign on the agenda for the graduation day next month. She was really happy about that and she was looking forward to having her first case. "To the future!" and they all echoed her, smiling and enjoying the moment._

 _She saw Sam coming in in that exact moment and since he was alone she invited him to join, but he simply smiled and raised an empty glass found on the nearest table. She smiled back, knowing that was his way to contribute to that moment. Oliver observed the entire scene without saying a word. He finally waved his hand to encourage Sam to join them, but instead he approached Steve Peck on the other side of the pub and after a short moment of conversation he left. She dropped the thought of Marlo not being with him, she shouldn't have cared anymore after their last conversation. She blinked for a second and then went back to a poor conversation Gail and Nash were having, referring to a new hot guy they had met during the briefing this morning. A blue-eye-handsome Nash was trying to describe and insisted her to meet. She looked at her friend and prayed her to drop that topic, but Nash wasn't in the mood to give up "you are back, right? This is a new start, why not trying something out of the station, without a gun, normal, with a job at the office, no calls in the middle of the night,… it may work in the end, you know!" Andy smiled to her and thought that she wasn't right at all, but neither wrong. "McNally, you need to look forward and not to look back." "I know, I know… and I will, promise!...So, how's this guy?" "What? You are running against my plan, Nash!" Oliver stepped in "I just don't like your plan!" she almost barked back in a smile "Nash, you can't fight destiny, I have already told you!" "you know what Ollie? That witch of yours is manipulating your brain, be careful!" she joked about his new girlfriend "which witch?" Andy asked, but none of them was considering her "you have no idea how she opened my mind, Tracy! And let me tell you my plan for Andy is better than yours!" "He's the past!" "wanna bet on that Nash?" "Is someone her telling me which plan? What are talking about? My personal life? Without me?" She tried to make it funny, but that wasn't enough to catch their attention. And she lost her patience. "Would you guys listen to me? I have the right to say something, damn it!" they both joined and said "No, you don't!" "What?If you don't' stop right now I leave!" she stated fiercely, crossing her arms. Oliver watched her and see some seriousness in her eyes. "Ok, Nash let's close the deal! You say future, I say past. If I win, you pay my coffee for six months. If you win, whatever you want." she smiled, looked at Andy "Done!" Andy stepped in and added "no, I say done! I don't wanna know about it!" "trust us, my friend, we will take care of you! let's drink over it!" they raised the glass once more and drank it all._

 _Four months after that night and Andy was already concerned about the two friends who seemed planning stuff for her, she felt suffering from some love disfunction - it could be worse, anyway: was she closing her heart? No, that was nonsense. Tom was a nice guy, maybe handsome but not her type. Too normal, she laughed a bit thinking about it. Normality could have been nice, no? not a bad idea, but she needed some good feeling, that you cannot clearly have in 2 days. Among all those documents Frank asked her to order she had all the time to observe what was going on around her and she landed on Nick and Gail chatting and flirting as teenagers. Gail wasn't the old Gail anymore, she was such a stupid and so nice with him. He was nice in turn too. She hoped one day to be in some nice place they were surely enjoying in happiness. Nick was thinking to propose to her, he was just waiting for the right time. She helped him choosing the ring and she knew it was perfect. That thing she had for him was nothing, a mixture of friendship and brotherhood where she was jealous to share him after all those months spent together. Nothing more and no regrets, luckily._

 _She eyed back to the documents on the desk and by doing so she caught Sam glancing at her. He immediately looked away as a 8-years-old boy having a crush for the nicest girl of his class. She didn't give anything away and she had repeated herself many times that that road was almost closed for her. Sam Swarek was Sam Swarek. People don't change, they just get old. And, what's more, Marlo was approaching her to give her papers from Luke's last case. She was cold and professional, revealing all her hate for a woman threatening her future. She was becoming paranoid about that, even if some truth was there for sure. She had some plan to keep her out of the sight and finally write the word end to whatever Andy and Sam had in the past. Her new rookie was very close to her and she was practically doing whatever she was about to ask or need._

 _She came out of that room determined as never._

 _Andy was handling with the report of the deposition. It was 8 o'clock in the evening and she was ready to leave after a long day, but at least she had closed the case. She called Caroline and asked her to order all the documents and bring them to the safety room. She would have had the court in two weeks so, she had time to get prepared. She switched off the computer, put the phone away and put the coat on. Tom was outside waiting for her: she finally accepted to go on a date with him after he insisted for at least 8 times. He was a smart guy, not a fan for drama, and that aspect made him even more appealing._

 _Oliver was complaining with Nash, arguing she was using some tricks to win, but Andy knew she actually didn't do anything at all. She said goodbye sending Oliver a kiss and a hug miming with her arms. Trace laughed about that and Oliver got pissed a bit, but he must have told her that it wasn't over. Andy turned back and walked over Tom. Those heels couldn't let her walk properly, but she could manage it. "hi" "hi" he was dressed up and told her she was beautiful. She thanked him as they got in the car._

 _Many months passed by since that night and things with Tom were fantastic, and she couldn't desire more. He was simple, careful, loved nature and they loved spending their time in Alberta, Andy's favourite place. Looking at the down together and making love under the stars made her feel a teenager again. "I love you, Andy" he told her once in tears when she took care of him doing everything at home when he broke a wrist by falling on the stairs. She kissed him gently and then passionately and felt his love for her was true. Her life was finally taking the right direction and they were really comfortable one with the other. They had spent her birthday in a dreaming place in the Caribbean, where they danced, played in the sand with each other and walked hand in hand by the sea talking about the past, the childhood and the future. They asked each other what they wanted to become in 10 years' and they both wanted a family to loved and to be loved. "stop looking at me like that Andy" "What do you mean?" she said innocently "And the dress you were is not helping, you know" he grabbed her and brought her up the front door of their room and they started to kiss and touch while struggling to open it. Andy was laughing at him, attempting to open the door "Now, you pay for that!" I said in a smile, while grabbing her, uncapable to stop laughing at him, and carrying her to a splendid white king bed. She was happy. He was happy._

4


	6. Chapter 6

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. I must say thank from the deepest part of my heart to those people who decided to devote some of their valuable time to report me what they liked/disliked and what they would like to read.  
This is chapter 6 and soon I will post new chapters._

 _Send you kisses!_

 _It has been a hard week for Andy: she barely spent some time with Tom, buried by cases, he was hiding in his office at the court for hours. Honestly, being a lawyer and a detective wasn't so different, you spend much of the time at work to close your case. However, that night, they had planned to go out on a date, to relax and think about plans for Christmas. He had a family tradition to share with her, to prepare her to his family. It was becoming serious. He was looking to her, just to her. Sometimes she felt it was too perfect to be true.  
"You will love my grandmother. She's sharp but smart. Nothing is decided without her, Andy! She's very funny." she smiled back, wondering how she could look like. She felt nervous and it was weird, even strange to think a family could be so crowded. She had been always alone with her father. Christmas was not such a big celebration, especially when the night before he had got drunk. "your father could come with us" he suddenly interrupted her thoughts, and noticed she was getting scared a bit "Andy, don't be afraid. I'll be there. Nothing will happen, ok?"she nodded, but that fear couldn't go away. She was the lonely Andy McNally that never had a mother. "I've found the best, perfect present for you. Can't wait to give you"His eyes were shining and the truth crosses her soul "I can say the same, this time. I'm learning!"she joked about it. He gave her a small kiss and then they finished their dessert before going home. _

_Weeks passed by and Christmas was coming: they had booked flight tickets for Montreal and they would have been there in some days. Andy felt happy for the first time after months of hard work: she would have spent a week away from the job and that could have a beneficial effect on her life. Yes, she was nervous to meet his family but at least she would have met new people, something she really loved. She had to work hard in the last weeks and despite all the efforts made to spend some more time with Tom at night and at weekends, it frequently happened to be called back by Callaghan, Nash or Swarek to work at some new case Frank wanted to be closed by the end of the year. This had proved the strength of her relationship with Tom, who complained about late hours at the station only occasionally.  
It was Friday night and Andy was working really hard to close the case with Luke, go back home and pack her things before Monday when she had a plane to catch. Tom was already in Montreal since he was asked to anticipate its departure to hep his parents dealing with a legal contract for inheritance. He would have picked her up at the airport at her arrival.  
Luke had almost finished to write the final report and prepare all the papers they would have needed in two weeks' at the court. _

_Andy was sipping a coffee while reading and suddenly remembered she didn't give the Christmas present she had bought for Trace and something for her son too. She was on the way of Nash office when she passed closed the locker room and heard Marlo and her rookie laughing and celebrating something. They were talking louder than usual, but she really didn't put any attention to that until she heard the rookie saying she wanted to see the ring. Andy suddenly stopped in the middle of the hall, almost dropping her coffee, frozen by that information. A ring. He must have proposed her to marry him.  
She felt so bad, her breath was becoming faster and difficult to control that she opened the first door she found on the way and locked herself inside the room. She set down to calm, but it ended up very difficult until she slowed down, and tears started to run over her face. She loved Tom, why was she crying for Sam? Did she think he would have been for her forever? She felt stupid, but the pain was pervading her heart and she couldn't stop him. And she realised she couldn't have a life without him. She took her head with her hands until someone from the outside was trying to open the door. She stayed in silence for a while until she recognised Trace voice and she unlocked the door. "Andy, what the hell…oh dear, what is going on?" she made her come in and then locked the door again. "Andy, why are you crying?" she took a big breath "Sam is getting married, Trace."  
_

" _what.. what do you mean?" she was puzzled "what that may mean Tracy? He asked Marlo to be his wife?" "How do you know that?" "I heard her talking with her rookie.." "are you sure? Absolutely sure?" "Trace, I am sure!" she couldn't have mistaken what she saw! "Look, I don't see all this love.." "You know Sam doesn't let go much, never did that with me too" "Andy… even if it was true… you stay with Tom. You told me you love him!" "I know, I know! It's just.. I think I made a big mistake, Trace.. months ago, he came to my flat, crying, begging for a second chance. But I closed the door for him. He opened up, he told me why he left me and I told him I didn't trust him anymore. Now I feel like I've missed a big chance. Trace, I love Tom, but I will always love Sam first, I just … I don't know, thought that he would have been always there for me. I've been so stupid! I have done the same mistake he made with me the first time. I protected myself and avoided my fears to suffer again by jumping back in a relationship with him"  
"ok, calm down. It is normal to feel like this about a guy you dated and now he is…" "Trace, no,no, don't say it. It's not this way, or I wouldn't cry like this!" she tried to formulate something, but she released her breath to push away the tension and trying to figure out what to do. "you have a plan, Andy?" "Trace, I just found out, what plan may I have? And anyway, it is clearly too late, so the only plan I have is to leave this place before I burst into tears the first time I meet him!"  
"NO, no, no! running is not the solution Andy! How many times do I need to tell you?" "I won't stay here to see him having a family with another woman. I want him happy surely, but I need to live too in some way!" "Andy, you are just panicking…" Andy didn't even let her finished that she was already walking toward Frank office. "Andy, wait, wait!" Trace was running after her, but she got stuck by a bloke of her department and couldn't reach her "let's talk about this later" it is the only thing that she could yell at her._

 _Two days after that finding, after nights of no-sleep at all, They were all at the crime scene helping some detectives of the second division, when she saw Marlo simulating moving a ring on her finger by joke. Her rookie responded with a huge laugh and there she got it was all true, it couldn't be a mistake. Sam was close enough to see her doing that and smiled back. She tried to say something about marriages with Oliver, to understand his reaction, but he had none. He must have been a good liar for Sam. He was waiting the right moment to tell her the news. How nice.  
It was too much. She knew she would have been uncapable to handle it, to hide her reaction and once at the station she would have made her move._

 _Andy jumped in Frank's office, her red eyes could have said it all, but she washed them in the bathroom behind the second-floor stairs. She wanted to be decent to convince Frank to transfer her elsewhere. "Come in McNally! What can I do for you?" a smiling sergeant staff was handling with a baby card. Probably for Noelle. "you ok, McNally?" "yep" she cut it "I came here to talk to you because I want to be transferred to a new division. I need to change perspective Frank, this place has given me a lot, but now I feel I need something new" "Is something happened Andy?" "No, I just need to go and make new experiences" "Andy, this is one of the best place in town to make experiences" he said perplexed, scrutinising her expression. She couldn't back down, she just couldn't stay there longer. "Frank, you may be right, but I need to go. Please, would you help me?" he exhaled hard than stood up and took a set of documents "fill these and bring them back to me."_

 _She took them and started to write them right there "Andy, you should take your time to consider the consequences of what you're doing." She smiled back at him, he was nice to care about her carrier, but she continued to write. When she finished she gave them back to him and then assured him that any available place in any division would have been fine. "Andy, just tell me why you are doing this: something happened to you? it's been a tough period, why don't you take some extra days off? you have been working hard and it may be just a bit of stress…" "Frank, let me know when to move". She left the office before she could regret it._

 _She walked down the stairs when Nash stopped her and kidnapped her in the interrogation room "you can't just walk away like this! You don't even know if what you heard was true, Andy! How childish you've been" ok, fine "maybe you're right or maybe not, but Trace… I won't stay here watching them anymore." "ok, did you think about Tom? What are gonna say to him?" "just the truth." "I think you are overreacting a bit, you cannot screw up your relationship because some guy you think you still love is gonna marry another woman!" "I thought it was over, I convinced myself that I couldn't love a man that hurt me like that, but he is not just a man… what we lived, we may have never recognised it but it was more than a relationship, we were good friends too" Tracy sighed hard, "ok, Tracy, I will go far, but I'll ask you… what would you do if you had a chance to have Jerry back? I'm 100% sure you will fight to death." "Andy, he's not gonna die.." "I mean there is no chance anymore, Trace. If he has asked her to marry him -and we are talking about Sam- what do you think it could mean?" she didn't answer, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and walked in circles for a moment. "I am not giving up on you, my dear, but on him and everything it may remind of him. I will always be there for you" "I know, I know. I still believe the proposal is a fake. Come on, I don't see a man happy to marry the woman of his life, do you?" "I can't stay Trace." "Let me ask around, I'll ask Oliver if that's true, but don't run like this." "If you tell him, he will refer Sam, they are brothers! Look, I may be tired because it's been a rough period, but I am sure of what I heard and I will die staying here…." "Andy McNally, you always overthink, but when you really need to do it, you don't! Do what you think is the best for you. Call if you need anything, ok?" "same for you!" they hugged each other. She waited for Trace to get out of the room to call Tom. Explaining to him the situation would have been a bit more complicated. She dialled his number and waited for him to answer, then she recognised the familiar sound of his voice. "Tom, it's me." "Hi honey, you home?" her hands were shaking. The idea she was going to destroy him killed her. She loved him, but she couldn't deny the truth. "Andy, are you ok?" "No, Tom. I called because.."so mean doing this by phone, she would have kicked herself physically! "Tom I can't come there with your family, it's not fair." "Andy, why? What is going on? Some new case showed up?" he was pissed as she never heard before. She could have closed it by using this perfect excuse, but she didn't. "Tom, I can't stay with you. I love you, you are so… handsome and marvellous and perfect but I can't do it." "Andy, you're scaring me… you say you love me and then you leave me? WHERE IS THE SENSE?" he was yelling on the phone "What are you saying? Because it looks like a lie to me! Look… just come here and we'll talk about it. May be you are stressed and things are difficult right now and this vacation has perfect timing…come up here.." she took a big breath and said it all loud "You will never be first, Tom." The silence filled the space between them and she waited for him to say something "I'm sorry. But this is the truth." Then after a moment he broke it "You're dating someone else? Does he work at the station?" he was getting angrier and angrier, like he couldn't control his voice "NO, no. I mean yes, but I am not dating him. I swear it. But still…" "It's Sam, isn't it?" "Tom, please, does a name make the difference?" "Are you fucking kidding me? You leave me for an ass who kicked you in the middle of the street alone? Who has ever fought for you? This is much worse than an insult! What happened, he kissed you?" "Tom, please, I'm not such a child to jump in people's arm like nothing! Don't insult me like this. It's the feeling, there has been no action, I swear it" "let me tell you something: You really don't deserve someone like me. I would have done anything for you, Andy, anything. Don't ever call me again!" he hang up and she didn't have the chance to tell him that was exactly the reason why she was leaving him. She knew he shouldn't have involved anyone in this story. She was already drowning in her pain and he didn't deserve to pay for that choice she was sticked to.  
_

_She was lost in this thought when she heard a shot close to the room. She took the gun on her waist and open the door slowly to find out a man holding a baby girl, threatening her with a gun, clearly moved by something, screaming he wanted to talk to detective McNally. "It's me, Barry, I am the one you are looking for."_


	7. Chapter 7

_I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. After the first chapters I have decided to have a break to understand where I wanted my story to lead. I must say that I noticed that readers from TV shows are eager of details of the sexual relationship between those characters they love and they tend to appreciate those stories in turn. I may say that the reason why this tv show worked so well was the chemistry and the empathy among the characters rather than mere love scenes (which we all love, but as the final moment of a long journey). For this reason, I decided that if I was going to deliver you guys any spicy scene I would have taken my time to make it sound special but not superficial. I hope that someone out there agree with me. A famous Italian poet who lived in XIX century declared that pleasure is made of the waiting and the pleasure itself, with the first part playing a bigger role.  
As always thanks for those who support me, your comments are always welcomed, and they brighten my rainy days. Please keep commenting!  
Wish you the best!_

 _Barry was holding the gun against Andy when ETF blocked the hallway, ready to kill him.  
"I've heard about that man who tried to take his money back here by kidnapping a girl…. so I thought it may have worked again" he said in a low firm voice.  
"Barry, it didn't end very well. That man is dead."  
"don't worry, it will work this time!" his big insane smile scared her. She didn't have a vest this time.  
"you came to talk to me, right? Why don't we do it?"  
"I came here to talk to you, not the opposite! You have thrown my brother in jail and they left him dying over there when he was already ill. They didn't cure him as they had to."  
He was so mad at her that his eyes could have turned red by then, but she was too far to notice the change of colour.  
"Barry, how can I be responsible for his death?" she said quietly.  
"YOU HAVE SENT HIM TO PRISON!" he was now pointing the gun at Andy's chest. She closed her eyes and prayed him not to pull the trigger.  
"Barry, put the gun down now!"  
He overreacted when he saw all the cops in front of him and behind him and put the gun under the girl's throat.  
In that moment Andy made a step forward and yelled at him to put it down, but she didn't have the time. Someone had shot him in his forehead. The young girl screamed and fell on the floor before losing her senses, covered by his blood. Andy approached her quickly, but she was immediately grabbed and taken away from that horrible scene. The last thing she remembered was that young girl screaming and two arms holding her firmly._

 _Several days had passed after the event at the station and Andy had received many visits from her friends. However, the hardest part of the day was the night, when she couldn't sleep at all. She stayed up late watching some boring tv program or trying to read a good book that could help her not thinking about the blood over the girl's head and clothes.  
Two days later Frank gave her the permission to visit the victim and he also notified she had been discharged for a couple of weeks.  
She had more than just a rough period.  
Sam visited her too, but she promised him she was fine and that he shouldn't have. He brought her chocolate and flowers, but Andy's mind hardly focused on the meaning of those gifts. He repeated her many times to call him for anything she needed, but she never did it. It was inappropriate and despite she knew Sam was doing all that because of their agreed friendship, those nice gestures made her feel even more sick.  
She gradually came back to work under Callaghan's supervision and, at that point, Frank started to believe that leaving 15 was something she really needed to overcome her last months.  
Andy felt older and more tired every time she looked into the mirror.  
She needed a new start, she deserved it too._

 _She was in the middle of a meeting with Callaghan to recap the details of the case one more time when Frank stepped into the office and asked Andy to visit him at the end of the shift. Her mind run immediately to the transfer request and she suddenly become distracted and curious at the same time, wondering which division her destiny had for her.  
"McNally, are you ok?"  
He interrupted the waterfall of thoughts spinning inside her brain. She needed to help him and stay concentrated.  
" yeah, sure!"  
She added quickly, picking up a photo of the victim and putting it on the blackboard. That case had no sense at all. She run a hand through her hair.  
It was late and she was tired. She was looking at the glass when she saw the reflex of Marlo walking down to the locker room.  
She became suddenly sad; what she hated most of the wedding story, apart from the fact that the man she wanted back was going to marry another woman, was the fact that she could barely work.  
She was mad at herself because of this and the only cure she knew would have worked was leaving that place.  
"ok, McNally, I got it: I lost you two pictures ago, go home, we'll continue tomorrow."  
She smiled at Luke and she knew that the case wasn't a big deal for Frank so probably he wouldn't have put any pressure on them. It had been assigned from 24,16 and 5 division, where no one had been able to solve it, but for Luke that was a challenge. _

_She ordered all the papers and put them on Luke's table before saying good nights and watching him sitting down and starting over again. That man was insane.  
She approached Frank's office, feeling the anxiety increasing: she was nervous, but she had to face the final result.  
She pulled the handle and he raised his gaze to invite her to sit in from of him.  
"so, here there's the request and here the new division." He paused to search on Andy face the confirmation that it was all she wanted and he found it.  
"34 division, in the middle of nowhere, congratulations."  
34 division. The worst case ever, fantastic.  
"it will be fine"  
That was all she could say after all. She had no reason to complain.  
"you will have no TO detective, so I hope you are ready to work on your own. You'll have a squad of three cops working with you, probably with little experience. So, I guess I should say good luck!"  
He sighed and waited for her reaction, but there was none.  
She felt her heart dying inside. No Nash, no Epstein, no Gail, no Nick and Chris and Ollie anymore. NO SAM.  
"I wanna thank you Frank. Not just for this, but for everything you did for me. You are an excellent staff sergeant. Please, say hello to Noelle and the baby. I wish you guys the best."  
She got up and offered him her hand in a smile. He followed her shaking it.  
"I want you to know I am losing one of the best right now"  
"Thank you, Frank. I appreciate that."  
"Come over here sometimes. Just to say hello. Hope to see you at the Penny soon."  
"I will" she said it with no promise at all. She needed space and time. Mostly time._

 _She went out of the office, while Frank looked at her leaving and she went to Luke's office to tell him the news. He was very surprised and asked her if she was sure.  
She simply nodded and made no question. They shook her hands and she thanked him for being a splendid teacher.  
She left and went to the second floor where Nash was already crying with Sam set beside her, asking if everything was ok. She must have watched her talking with Frank by the window of their office, overlooking the ground floor.  
The tears were running over her face. She approached her in a hug as she passed the threshold.  
"Trace we talked about it. We will see each other regularly"  
"I know, I know" she was snuffling.  
Sam was standing behind them, puzzled about what they were talking about.  
Here was the hardest part. Say him bye. Forever. Andy's heart was breaking at every step toward him.  
Trace left the office, knowing what she had to do.  
"Another UC, McNally?" he joked and showed curiosity, shocked by her friend reaction.  
"No" she said in a tone lower than his, while she was trying to formulate a proper sentence.  
"Going on vacation for some months?" he was really trying to understand what was going on, but he had no ideas.  
"Sam, I'm leaving. I'll move to 34 division. I start next Monday"  
She looked at him and he could see his face fall, the colour becoming whither than the usual. He was shocked. Really shocked.  
"no, you can't Andy.. "  
"I showed up here to say bye. And to say thank you. You did and meant a lot for me. You made me a cop, you taught me everything I had to know, and if I am here today it's because of you."  
"No, no…. I mean why? Why?"  
He was trying to figure it out, but he couldn't. His eyes were running desperately on her face, in her eyes, but they couldn't find anything. He was panicking.  
"I want you to know that whatever you need, if you are in trouble or not, if you need to talk, you can come and knock at my door. Always. I will be there for you."  
She loved him so much that she would have sacrificed her happiness for his. She wanted him to be happy over anything else. And if she could do something, she would have.  
"I mean it Sam" she offered her hand and waited him to do the same, but it stayed right there in the air. He looked at it without knowing what to do. And she saw the pain on his face. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on a cheek.  
"Be happy, Sam. Be happy."  
She turned around before she could cry. All she hoped was that one day he could forgive her for what she was doing. That he could understand.  
"Andy, don't do it."  
It was a whisper separating his lips, a prayer from his soul.  
-I can't Sam, I can't handle it. It is too hard._

 _She went downstairs to find everyone waiting for her. Oliver didn't waste a minute and tried to make her change idea. Nick was following him, but he looked into her eyes and he got there was some pressing reason to make her go that way. And he respected it.  
"Call sometimes, little sister!" he made her laugh when he called her like that.  
They all closed her in a big hug until she stepped back a bit and looked at each of them once more, before assuring them she would have visited when she could._

 _Sam was still standing in the office, facing the door, incredulous at what just happened and incapable to process it, to find a reason. -Why is she doing that? Why?- he remembered all the time spent together and felt the pain moving in his veins, running toward his heart.  
15 division without her wouldn't have been the same. He reminded himself of all the times she made him laugh, when she made her first rookie mistake. When she arrested him. When they kissed for the first time. When they made love for the first time.  
He sat down at his desk and with his hands into fists, blaming himself for that. He made her walk away. He hurt her too much that she couldn't even share that place with him. Once again it was his fault, he was just a failure, making mistake at every step. _

_He switched off the computer and took his phone and car keys and run out of the station. He needed to stay alone._


	8. Chapter 8

_I own nothing from the tv show. Thank you guys for the support!I love reading what's up your mind, please please please keep doing it!  
I hope what I write make you want reading more of my story. Here's a new chapter.  
Enjoy it and comment!_

 _It was three months since she went away. No calls, no visits. She had promised that she would have come to the station or at the Penny, but she never did it.  
Sam had tried to question Nash many times about the reasons why she took such a dramatic decision. He even asked if she was sick or something like that, but Nash never told him the truth.  
She simply said he had to accept it. _

_They were in the middle of a meeting with Diaz and Collins, working on a case of drug dealers when they had been interrupted by a man screaming and shouting that he had to meet detective Sam Swarek.  
Sam approached the man, recognising Tom.  
"Walters, calm down! What is going on?"  
The man was keeping his hands in fists and shaking a bit when he suddenly charged a punched and hit Sam. He didn't expect that, so he didn't defend himself. He hit him above his right eyebrow, enough hard to wound him and make it bleed.  
Immediately, Diaz, Collins and Shawn were already on him and arrested him.  
"you're under arrest for aggression to an officer of the law!"  
"That's for what you did to me" he barked back to Sam, confused trying to understand why he did it.  
"you've taken away from me everything I had, I couldn't let you walk away like this"  
"taken what, Walters?"  
Sam was angrily yelling at him, incredulous, wanting an answer from that idiot.  
"you have her, Swarek. You will always have. But you're just an ass and we both know you don't deserve her. You never will."  
Sam looked back at him and got he was talking about Andy. She must have left him, and he must think that it was his responsibility for that.  
"she doesn't work here anymore, ass, how can I be the reason she did what she did, uh?"  
"because she told me! She said it all aloud! I tried to make her understand that you ruined her, but she didn't listen!" _

_Oliver grabbed him from his arm and took him in, before calling Frank to formalise the charge against him.  
Sam run back to the office: he needed to talk to Nash. She must have talked to him this time, he would have insisted until it was necessary.  
He broke into the office and called out for Nash. She turned around concerned and confused by the blood over his right eye.  
"hey, what have you done?"  
"stop playing games, why Andy left?"  
He positioned himself right in front of her desk, angry; he needed answers, he deserved it, damn it!  
"Sam, we have discussed about this over and over, and you perfectly know she asked me not to say a word. Please, stop once for all! What do you expect me to do, go behind her back?"  
"Nash, stop with this shit! Did she leave because of me?"  
she widened her eyes, but didn't answer.  
"ok, I will assume that look means yes, now would you be so nice to tell me why exactly?"  
she went silent and he decided he wouldn't have wasted one minute more.  
"ok, fine .I'll go find out by myself!"  
"wait, Sam! NO!"  
she yelled at him but he was already on the stairs, leading out of the station. _

_Andy parked the car outside the station and listened to the news on the radio. It was early in the morning and the back of the station was almost empty. She checked the watch: it was only 7 o' clock. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the car seat. An interesting missing girl was capturing her attention and while she was listening to the speaker referring the details of the crime scene, she slowly sipped her coffee.  
She finally switched off the radio, pulled out the car keys and got out. In that moment she saw Kevin coming on his bicycle.  
"What do you do here?"  
It was too early, especially for a rookie.  
"I need some training this morning, wanna join me?"  
"no, thanks my desk is full of paper to deal with. Unless you wanna help me!"  
"maybe later!"  
He smiled back at her, meaning a clear no. Who wants to read and signs tons of documents? But that was part of the detective's job, she did from day one when Callaghan made very clear it would have been her duty. _

_It was after nine that her phone rang, while she was dealing with the mess on her desk.  
"McNally."  
"Boss, Rainy Park, 6 avenue, a female body have been found with the throat sliced up. They called us."  
She was already getting up and taking her gun, the badge and the car keys.  
"I'm on the way. Call Kate and Noah, go there with Fiona and wait for me. Don't touch anything, understood?"  
They were rookies and they could have compromised the crime scene in some ways. It was her first case, she couldn't risk it.  
"clear, boss."  
She hung up and jumped in the car. The park wasn't far away from the station and it took 15 minutes to arrive there. The guys were already closing the area and keeping curious out of sight.  
The body was reversed down but the cut on the throat was visible from the left side. There were sign of strangulation around the neck. The killer had probably attempted to suffocate her, but he cut her throat to be sure she was dead.  
"what do you think, boss?" Kate asked.  
"well, I would say middle thirties, white, she was jogging and met someone she shouldn't have. He probably strangulated her first, then killed. The time of the death is between 8 and 12 hours ago.. look at the colour of her lips. Kate you do the photographs"  
Kate turned to the car and took the camera.  
"the nails are perfectly polished, so we assume she didn't attempt to defend herself… her killer must have surprised her from behind… but we can't exclude she knew him and made the mistake to give him her back for seconds or enough for him to take advantage over her."  
Kate was thrilled by the way Andy was trying to set up the story.  
"Kevin, have you called the forensics?".  
"yes, sir! they are on their way" he said loud voice from the perimeter of the area.  
"Noah and Fiona, please take the depositions of the girl who found the body. Where is she?"  
Andy stood up and walked toward the witness.  
"Detective McNally, 34 division. Are you Helen Adams?"  
She was shaking all around visibly shocked by the discovery made.  
"Listen, now the officer will make you some questions, ok? Stay calm, it's just the procedure"  
She tried to make her more comfortable, even if it was a difficult situation.  
"once, you've finished you go to the station and wait there for me, OK?"  
She looked at Fiona who nodded and drove the girl away from the presents.  
Andy went back to the body and took her notes and made a sketch of the scene. She wrote down whatever detail she noticed, Kate followed every step she made taking photos. When the forensics arrived they have been sent out and assured her a detailed report of the coroner and of the crime scene. The evidence would have been delivered to the station in hours. _

_Once back to the station she opened the map of the park on the blackboard, instructed two officers to search in the past of the girl and locate every movement made in the last week.  
"check bank accounts, phone calls, texts, e-mails, social accounts and whatever may be helpful"  
she turned around to see Fiona with the witness.  
"take her in the visit room, it will take a while before interrogating her. Please, write down the report and make her sign it as soon as possible, I want it on my desk!" as she finished talking Fiona disappeared upstairs with the girl.  
She was hard to catch as she simply followed her ordering around when instead a greater participation was required. The station was small, far away from the chaos at 15.  
"OK, I'll try to set up the net with them, you two rookies go to the victim's office and question people around. Make specific questions. Ask if she behaved normally, if she made any confidence to a colleague, if she had any problem at home, at the office, this kind of questions, guys!"  
They left Andy in the car park, while she picked up another one.  
At this point, the hardest job to do was left to her: she hated it, but she was the one in charge of the investigation and she couldn't delegate it. She had to notice the family's victim that Emy Stuart was dead. _

_Sam was three corners away form 34 division when he felt his heart was going to explode in a mixture of feelings: anger, surprise, pain from the hit, and anger again. He was mad at her, leaving him like this, with no explanation. He was pissed, very.  
She couldn't run away from him anytime like this. It was hurting him so much and he would have made her stop. No matter what.  
He parked in front of the station and saw her instructing officers. He stayed in the car and watched her being so professional, so capable, so bossy. And he reminded himself that there must have been a good reason for her to leave.  
Maybe it hadn't been such a great idea to go to her, he should have waited, without being so impulsive. What could he do? He was still with Marlo and she made him clear that such a situation wasn't for her. He should have left Marlo, it wasn't far for her. Oliver was right._

 _He suddenly changed the plan and decided he would have told the girl that they couldn't go on this way. Then, he would have gone back to Andy again, he would have prayed her to give him a second chance. He would have waited her until she was ready.  
He switched on the car and moved away before she could recognise him. _

_That night when Marlo came back home, he was right there waiting for her. It was a beautiful night of middle September, but his mood was black like ink. She jumped out of the car and run toward him, kissed him and ready to tell him the great day she had: she had helped a woman giving birth to his child. She was so thrilled that she would have wanted a child too.  
At that confession Sam stayed quiet and she became concerned.  
"Sam, you ok?" she looked at him, keeping his hands. He didn't reply, and she drove him in her apartment. He had to tell her, he had to in some way.  
"are you tired? And what happened to your eye!I notice only now with the light. Who punched you?" She was genuinely concerned about him. He would hurt her a lot: he blamed himself for that, for the million time.  
"Sam, talk to me…" in the silence of the living room they heard a noise coming from the bedroom. He picked up the gun and approached very slowly.  
He cleared the place, but once he turned on the light, he saw all the mess around.  
Someone broke in and searched everywhere. "OH no..".  
Marlo was standing at the door, her face white.  
"what if we have met a couple of minutes before…" he went back to her and tried to calm her down.  
They spent the next three hours with the police, making a report on what happened and before all the cops were gone, Marlo prayed him to stay for the night. She didn't feel safe and, in the end, he wanted her safe and sound too.  
"Sam, thanks for this. For what you do for me." He smiled back and nodded; then jumped in the bed next to her. They did everything to make the place safe for the night, but she couldn't sleep and around three in the morning she got up to drink some water.  
When she went back to the room she heard him talking, grumbling something incomprehensible. She set down on the chair close to the window trying to get something.  
"Don't Andy, please. Don't."  
He said. And she frowned. He really said that? REALLY?  
Andy, Andy, Andy. She was always in the middle. Even now that she was far away.  
She put down the glass and took a cover and a pillow and went on the couch. She couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't be the shadow of another woman and, at the thought, she cried in silence. There would have always been her: they couldn't be happy, they never had a chance._

 _The next morning when she woke up her back was hurting, and her head was spinning a bit. She removed the covers and stood up. It was just 6 o'clock in the morning-she went to her bedroom to find Sam still sleeping. She sat down and decided to wait for him to wake up._

 _"Morning" she whispered in a husky voice. She didn't answer, and he looked at her for an instant: he didn't know what was up in her mind, but he thought that right there they needed to talk.  
"Marlo, we should seriously talk. There are things I wanna say to you." She smiled back at that situation, it was so ridiculous.  
"you've already said it in your sleep, don't worry" she replied, turning to serious.  
"what you mean exactly?" he was confused, he never talked while sleeping.  
"you called Andy a couple of times. I guess there's not much to add, right?" she was getting pissed and angry.  
"I'm sorry for this. I cannot take it back – I just wanna say that I should have got it many months ago before dragging you in all this mess. what we had it was real, but…"  
"she will always come first, right?"  
He felt so sorry, but again it was telling her the truth.  
He nodded and got out of the bed to put on his shirt and jeans, his shoes were at the entrance.  
"Marlo, I've caused you the pain on your face, but you don't deserve to carry it. Just move on – for yourself."  
"Are you kidding me? How you dare saying something like this! I really don't need your concern, Sam! Get out of my house!"  
She barked back, her body shaking, angry as he never saw her, but he didn't try to explain more. He couldn't dare, she was right.  
He obeyed and , without saying a word, guilty, chaotic as only Sam Swarek can be, he picked up his clothes and closed the door behind him._


	9. Chapter 9

_I own nothing from the tv show. Thank you guys for the support!I love reading what's up your mind, please please please keep doing it._

 _I am sorry to post only right now, but I graduated for the second time last week and I had to deal with a lot of stuff.  
I hope what I write make you want more of my story. Here's a new chapter.  
Enjoy it and comment, comment and comment again!_

 _It had been a very long week for Andy and she hadn't arrested the suspect yet. She knew who killed the girl, but she didn't have enough evidence to arrest him.  
"Boss, what are we gonna do now?"  
She went on every single detail over and over again: the suspect was a work colleague she had rejected his sexual advances many times and then he killed her for her rejection.  
The forensics had found a partial finger print on a piece of plastic gloves in the grass: the problem was that the match with the finger print was below 50% and a jury would have judged it insufficient to proceed with the charges and Andy knew that very well.  
So, Andy had followed any possible route that he could have done by foot, by car and by bicycle from his office to the entrance of the park: they checked cameras at every angle, but they found nothing. The tracking of the phone revealed that he left the office at 7 and went straight home. How could it be possible if they had that finger print? The guy was lying, badly.  
They searched his house, his office, his car, his mom's house and found nothing: the weapon used for the homicide was still missing.  
"Kevin and Kate, I want you guys to go back to the part and look for something that the forensics may have missed. Please make every possible path she may have done before being killed and search around each area. We are looking for something that may link him to her death. Take some extra officers with you."  
"Fiona, go and bring here all his friends, we will interrogate them all again" Fiona seemed surprised at that request, but she followed her orders without complaining.  
Andy had a plan and needed the best officers of the division, which meant only 5 left. She was mobilising the entire station to solve the case, and she could do that, since the staff sergeant was there only three days a week: he was leading 32 division too.  
She was the boss, with all responsibility on her shoulders, but that was a challenge and Andy was ready to take it. He smiled and jumped out of the office to call everyone and give instructions to prepare 4 different interrogatory rooms they didn't have. This meant placing covers over the wall glass separating the offices, at least those on the same floor.  
"Boss, I mean… you sure will it work?"  
"It has to, Ray. We have no chance."_

 _Andy was sipping her soft drink from a nice iced glass when she felt a hand placing over her shoulder. She was at the penny waiting for Trace and the crew, but it was a bit early.  
"Congratulations, detective!" Andy turned around to meet a smiling Luke.  
"What do you take?"  
"Scotch, please" she said to the bar girl. "So…"  
"well, I should say thank you. You taught me a lot."  
"True, but let me say that you have the right gut to do this job, and you do it well! You solved the first case at that division!" the girl went back with a glass with some dark liquor inside.  
Luke picked it up and they cheered.  
"Well, it's not been easy, Luke."  
"It's never easy Andy. Never. Why don't you come back? We need someone like you.."  
"Luke, please don't say the same things people keep telling me over and over. I made a choice you guys must respect."  
Luke moved closer to her and whispered "Sam, is it the reason you left, uh?" she looked at him in the eyes.  
"I hate detectives, Callaghan!" he laughed hard before noticing detective Peck and leaving her sipping her drink.  
In the same moment, Trace stepped in. "Oh, Oh, look who's here" she hugged her friend, with a piece of newspaper in one hand.  
"you heard, the new detective of the 34 solving an impossible case in less than a week? Look at the photo, very sexy, eyes half closed saying I'm the boss, move!" she was showing her the article the Toronto Today had published.  
"Ok, to be precise, it took me 8 days, which is more than a week, so.." Trace was faking the modesty with funny moves.  
"Ms Honesty, have solved the case in 8 days!".  
Oliver approached, open arms "Congrats, pal! We are proud of you!" she hugged him back "Thanks, Ollie!" she was all smiles when she saw Sam coming in and her heart stopped.  
He was slimmer than the last time she had seen him, and he was making his beard grow. She found that very non-Swarek when Trace noticed her expression and asked her if she wanted to leave.  
"no, it's fine".  
He approached the group of friends to congratulate to Andy for her success. They had a drink together, but Sam kept being quiet and simply observed her for a while. She felt the tension growing in her body, but she did everything to control it, not succeeding much of it.  
While Andy was in a deep conversation with Ollie, Trace signed to Sam that she didn't say a word about the episode of Tom's aggression to Andy.  
She turned around just in time not to be noticed.  
"so, what's the plan, McNally?" Oliver asked her.  
"going to Alberta tomorrow morning"  
Trace leaned against the chair to complain "you should stop to do that or you'll become a solitary cop like your father. Come on Andy, you're young and beautiful, why don't you have one of that girl's night we used to have! You know what, I must convince you to stay over my place for the weekend. We'll have lots of fun!" she stood up and approached the bar to take some other drink.  
"how you did it?" Sam asked her.  
"did what?"  
"how did you catch the guy?"  
"I conduct 4 interrogatories at the same time mixing up details from one to the other until one of the guys contradicted his version." He was all ears and she continued " So I pushed him until he talked and we had been lucky because he was the one knowing details. The knife that my rooks found in the park confirmed out suspect. It's been a big job they all took part to, not just me. I'm sorry that article doesn't say it"  
"Andy… you lead and you take the responsibility. Be proud once in your life, you deserve it."  
She lowered her eyes, perplexed. That wasn't part of her nature, the pride wasn't in her vocabulary.  
Trace got back with four glasses full of beer. "My friend, this is just the beginning."_

 _Two weeks later, Andy was in the middle of an investigation when all started. The case involved a lonely man found dead on the floor of his leaving room. The body was already decomposing and the police had found him thanks to the hard smell people were starting to find annoying.  
"Kevin, any advice?" it was the third time that Andy and her two rookies visited the house, to find something that could suggest how things might have gone._

" _Boss, I don't know, honestly. We looked everywhere" he looked around in search of inspiration. "what if the body has been brought here later? Or maybe he was just a lonely man who died alone!" The two rookies were looking at each other, Kate gesturing him to shut up and wait for Andy's next move.  
"No, no." she walked around the room "Ok, let's wrap up what we know…. We have found no sign of injury on the body, no knife cut, no natural death, no poison has been found in the toxicologic analysis, there are no signs of fight and he was perfectly lying on the floor. And we know that his position was unnatural. I suggest repeating the blood test, looking for any type of drugs, pesticides, whatever may have caused his death." It was a lot to go through.  
"The problem of the position the body remains. Too perfect, you're right, Kevin. Someone has put him this way. But the question is who?".  
She paused and then added "His wife died years ago, no friends… every single day he made the same things: went down the street, he bought the newspaper, came back, watered his plants, smoking in the noon until dinner…who wanted him dead?"  
She took the phone and dialled forensics headquarters and requested a second analysis. _

_That night Andy was lying in her bed with a good book, but she kept thinking about that man. It was becoming an obsession and she didn't want her job to interfere in her life like that.  
Fortunately, an incoming call from Nash interrupted her thoughts.  
"Hey, bestie, how you doing?"  
Trace sighed noisily "Huge day today. 5 hours spent in the interrogation room, a nightmare! you?" Andy closed the book lying on her lap.  
"I had a bad day too. I can't solve a case. I mean, I have no clue at all, this time!" she was pissed, and that little surge made her feel better.  
Trace was chewing something when she changed topic and Andy sit up interested "Nick is gonna propose to Peck!" her friend knew she was already smiling big.  
"Nooo! When? Did I miss it?"  
"No, it's next Friday. He told me to tell you. You'll be there?"  
"Nash, there? Where's this 'there'?"  
"At the Millennium Castle, it's where they met years ago. Did you know that they have already got married once?"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah.."  
"Trace, are we chatting like teenagers?" Andy really hated that, never been a fan of.  
"How does make you feel, McNally?"  
"Kind of good, but just because it's been a long day!" they laughed together.  
"How's your boy? You should show up here for dinner sometime next week."  
"Yeah, not bad idea. Listen, don't cook, I'll buy the taijin at that place on the Queen's you really love."  
"That would be fabulous!" Andy thanked her friend and promised to call soon.  
She switched off the lamp and closed her eyes. 'Tomorrow we'll understand more', she thought before falling asleep. _

" _Boss, I have the toxicology results!" Andy stood up and approached Kevin as he announced the news.  
"You were right: they have found a small, residual trace of __methylene-dioxy-methamphetamine_ _" he announced.  
"MDMA. That's not normal. An eighty-year-old man consuming ecstasy?"  
"the toxicologist says he probably died for an overdose last month. It would explain the blue at the back of his tongue"  
"Ok, send back to his house the forensics once again and ask them to look for any trace of this drug. We need to understand if he consumed it, in that case we will find something." _

_Three hours later Kevin, Andy and Kate were on their way to the station, discussing about how it was possible to find no trace at all.  
"Someone wanted to make it appear natural death: whoever is behind, he or she is covering something… wait… we know that he had a social assistant visiting him regularly… "  
"Boss, we questioned her at least three times.. we found nothing…"  
"you know what? She is the only contact with the victim. It must be her, there is no way. Call her back and tell her we need to write down the report again, because we lost it. She will be pissed, so be nice and gentle as much as you can… I want Kate on this, you know how to be touchy!"  
Kevin smirked, hoping to receive some better order.  
"You and I will search in her bag and coat for MDMA trace. " he looked at Andy for a couple of seconds before reminding the boss that they needed a warrant.  
"I know, but if we ask for a warrant right now, we won't find anything. She will clean up everything and she has probably already done it, so at this point our chances are even smaller… "  
They parked the car at the station.  
"If anything happens, it's my responsibility, just mine. Don't talk or say something to anyone. Understood?"  
"Yes,sir!"  
They little conversation was suddenly interrupted by 8 cars riding toward the 34_ _th_ _. All that rush made them jump out immediately.  
Andy was really surprised by seeing Sam, Callaghan and Frank walking toward the entrance. They waved their hands to her, but didn't stop to say hello.  
Andy gave a look to her rookies and they knew they had orders to follow.  
Meanwhile she run directly to the sergeant staff office, where the three were already there._

" _McNally is already on the case…" the sergeant was telling them.  
"What's up?"  
"Detective McNally, I am sure you don't need to be introduced"  
"McNally, how you doing?" Frank held his hand for her and she friendly accepted it.  
"I'm good, sir."  
"The guy you are investigating over… he's only the fifth victim of the week… we are putting together all of them, they all died of"  
"MDMA, right?" her answer captured their attention.  
"Exactly, what you have?" she hesitated.  
"It's the social assistant. I mean, I have nothing linking his death to her, but it must be her. " the sergeant rolled his eyes and sat back behind the desk.  
"McNally, your theories… you perfectly know that you need proves.." Sam was reminding her not to go down that road.  
"I have a plan, but I need a warrant… otherwise what I will find will be useless in court… the problem is that there is not enough to justify for a warrant…."  
"McNally, don't mess up, what is going on?" she dialled Kevin number.  
"Whatever, you're doing stop it right now." She closed the conversation and looked back at the three, perplexed, Sam was the one more concerned about which trouble she may have ended up in.  
"The plan was searching her bag, looking for drugs trace while Kate re-writes the report, we mistakenly lost" she said with emphasis.  
"and you wanted to do it without a warrant?"  
The sergeant raised his voice by a tone, pissed by the idea she had.  
"Sir, by now we know that there have been many victims. She can't have done all this alone. So, if we find something, we can go on digging and find more. If the all thing comes out, it's over. We will cover it with the next findings.."  
"Absolutely not."  
"Sir, it's the only chance we have, I have already checked her phone, house, contacts, family, habits…"  
"Then, it's not her, McNally and we would waste our time…" At that point she stood up, convinced of what to say.  
"Sir, I may not have enough experience, but I know I'm right. We have worked really hard about this…"  
"you're right McNally, you don't have enough experience and you know what? You may stay in the case, under their lead or leave it to them, your choice." She stayed right there, open mouth.  
"I'm out."  
That answer moved then even more than her previous reaction.  
"You will find all the documents you need on my desk and at the briefing room. My rookies will tell you all the details you need to know."  
She left the room almost running. They had no right to doubt about the quality of her job like that. Yes, she knew she was risking a lot and following a road outside the legal rails, but she thought about it a lot before taking that decision, she wasn't so stupid.  
"McNally, wait, we need you, not a rook!" Sam was right after her, trying to repair the damage of their conversation.  
She stopped and turned to look at a man that was trying to involve her because he knew she was right at some point, and already sorry for what he had just said.  
"Sam.." she said closing her eyes.  
"Let's do this. Go home, let me look at what you guys did. If I find out the very same conclusion I call you in and you lead us, ok?" she looked down, weighting his proposal.  
"Ok" he smiled back and patted on her shoulder gently._

 _She was home for 5 hours when Sam called to come back to the station.  
"We have the warrant" he said, she was surprised, how they did it?  
"The assistant is on her way here. You lead the thing the way you planned it and while you do it we look into her life again" indicating they would have stayed upstairs.  
"Sam, how did you get the warrant?"  
"Later, Andy." He took the stairs before she could press him more.  
He would have told her easily, but Callaghan instructed him not to. He was the boss of the operation at the fifteen, but he hated lying, especially to Andy._

 _They found trace of MDMA almost immediately, and the detectives found a contact on the phone linked to a local drug dealer arrested many times for trafficking.  
ETF broke into his house and found tons of drugs packed and ready to be sold.  
The assistant was using her patient's house to store it until they had found it.  
Andy arrested her, reading all the charges and she finally asked for a lawyer.  
They all finished to write down the report around 3 in the morning, exhausted when Sam stayed there helping around even if he could have gone home hours before.  
"Sam, you can go it's late" he smiled to her, keeping piling the documents, ordering them.  
"My rookies can do it tomorrow" he stopped and closed the last box, struggling about what to say, but he wanted to apologise to her.  
"I'm sorry for today." Andy continued signing a couple of papers, filling them with some data.  
"Andy, I really am."  
She stayed in her silence for some seconds, trying to find the right words.  
"The only thing that matter is that we have closed the case and we can go home to sleep."  
She was already taking her coat and her bag when he stopped her, positioning in front of her. They were facing at each other.  
"You're good, but a detective need to be careful, Andy, and you have risked a lot."  
"What you think that I don't know?" he inspired noisily with eyes closed at those words.  
"Yes, you do, but sometimes consequences are bigger than what we imagine. You're just at the beginning of your career and such a mistake may make you appear fragile or even unreliable in court.. Being so reactive it's normal. You've been a cop for many years and you'll need a while before getting rid of that cop feeling that tells you not to wait, not to hesitate"  
She put down the bag, knowing he was right.  
"Look, I will be more careful and less instinctive next time, ok?"  
They held their gaze for some time, before he nodded and gave her a little smile. He made a step back and let her collect the bag.  
"You need a ride home?"  
"No, thanks, I've bought a car." He was surprised to the news.  
"Yep, I did, Swarek, I can afford it now, and the ride on the bicycle is too long, so.."  
"Cool… wanna drink something together?" she raised her eyebrows a bit, theatrically showing her watch, signing half past three.  
"Ok… another day, this week, what you think?"  
"Well, this week.. I don't know, there's Collins' wedding proposal to Peck, so… I think I'll meet you there, we can have a drink right there, if you like".  
"right" he said disappointed, thinking that there would have been other occasions.  
His reaction was so evident that she didn't miss it. However, she didn't say anything as she knew how that man could affect her and she was finally starting to build her own emotional stability, she was reaching control over it and she didn't want to lose it.  
Things were going better for her and she was happy about this.  
"See you there, then" he looked at her and wished her goodnight._

 _It was half past six when Trace called her from the living room for the tenth time to tell her they were late. "I'm coming, I'm coming!".  
She was studying herself in the mirror to check if everything was ok. She had a long blue dress, covering her shoulders just a little, with some sparkles here and there, capturing the light and shining as little stars.  
"Andy, you are perfect." She looked at her friend, eyes half closed.  
"It's gonna be in a castle, we need to be stunning, Trace."  
"Oh, yeah, you mean stunning for who? Swarek?"I  
It was only two hours before that Nash told her they had broken up a couple of months before. And all the control she worked for was disappearing from her heart every second she remembered that disappointing face he had only some nights before. Stop, Andy, stop. Stop dreaming about it.  
"Trace, that's past. I am moving on."  
The friend looked at her from the door and shook her head "What?"  
"Oliver's right."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"You've never moved on Andy. You are just waiting for your turn to show up again!" Andy turned and faced her friend, pissed about what she said.  
"It's not true! And you know what? Tonight I'll show you Sam Swarek is past. That place is gonna be full of cops and soldiers, may be among all of them, I will meet some nice guy."  
She turned around and the gown moved accordingly, the sound of the fabric reminding Nash some Disney princess. "Let's go sleeping beauty!"_

 _They arrived at the castle just in time to see Nick, calm as always, dress up magnificently. They all hid before Gail coming in, escorted by Oliver. She was confused, angry not to understand what was going on, until Nick went down on a knee and she nervously nodded a yes, with a soft voice coming out from her lips. Nick Collins was the only one able to unlock Peck's heart.  
The crowd exploded by joy and enthusiasm. The music started and they danced, followed by other couples.  
Andy danced with Oliver and then with Chris, before being introduced to a guy Nick met in Afghanistan.  
She was harmoniously dancing along the whole room, laughing about something he was saying when she met Sam's eyes staring at her.  
He wasn't letting go her gaze while he was nervously playing with a glass filled with bourbon or scotch, probably.  
She looked away and her expression changed immediately.  
"you ok?" he asked "Oh yeah, I think we should make a little pause, my feet start hurting"  
"sure.."  
She walked away toward the ladies' room. Once in there, she refreshed her wrists and hands.  
She loved and hated that look, and she cried again, angry that a man could lead her brain like this. Going to the party hadn't been a good idea.  
She walked out, determined to avoid Sam Swarek, for her sanity, once for all.  
"McNally" she jumped back, he was there leaning on the wall.  
"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you" he now approached her.  
He was stunning in his tux, that white shirt perfectly matching the colour of his skin.  
She looked down, to move the gaze away and she felt even worse, a stupid girl having a crush on a popular boy. "I think I will.."  
"No way, you promised me a drink" he was dan so serious, he made clear he wanted her alone for a while and right there she needed an escape.  
"I didn't promise you anything, Swarek".  
He offered her his arm and she stayed there looking at his gesture. He encouraged her softly, until she put her hand inside his elbow as they walked to the open bar.  
He helped her sitting on one of that high chair and then ordered something light for both of them. "So"  
"Andy, look at me. I know what's going on. Stop doing it."  
"It's all fine, I really don't know what you are talking about"  
"Andy, give me another chance. Please, Andy"  
The guy approached with the glasses and she took it and sipped some of that liquor, the lighter she has ever drunk. Sam was still there staring at her.  
"What can I say?" she made a smile, but it wasn't a smile at all.  
"That you still believe I can be your choice."  
"That's big Sam"  
"You've just killed me again, McNally"  
"You can't ask me something like that."  
"Do I deserve a choice? No, and I know that, believe me. But I need to know that you're just taking your time for that, because I am living just for that small word coming out of your mouth."  
"This Sam who's talking, it's new, I don't know him." She looked straight in his eyes this time.  
"Whatever for you"  
"I think I should go now"  
"Andy, please.."  
She unbalanced on the chair and he grabbed her just in time. The music slowed down and silently prayed her for a dance. She nodded, fighting the need to run away. He pulled her closer, but leaving some space, reflecting her position like in that conversation. He posed one hand on his chest and the other one on his arm. She looked terrified, not about him, but about that loop she was falling in again and again.  
When the music stopped, she apologised once more and walked away, hardly breathing until she got out and let the chilly air hitting her cheeks, filling her lungs.  
He run after her until she stopped and turned around.  
"tell me, how you got that warrant in just few hours, Sam? Which miracle you did that I couldn't"  
Sam stayed silent, looking at her, praying her not to go down that road.  
"You see, you still hold your old habits. Nothing changed, nothing."  
he watched her walking down the garden regretting not to confess it. But it wasn't legal at all, and he wanted to keep her out, just in case things would have gone in the wrong way.  
_

_It was early morning when Andy finished to pack her small bag, took the keys and jumped in a taxi leading to the airport. She checked all her documents on the way, just in case something was missing._

 _Four hours later she was landing in Alberta, watching outside the window on the plane, already imagining the smell of the resin of the three. It was sharp and intense and she adored it.  
Carol was already waiting for her outside the airport: she didn't have to wait for luggage so, it look less time to her.  
"how's your old man, Andy?".  
"oh, you know him, he's not gonna change… " she was an old family friend she always offered to pick her up when she visited the village where her father had the cabin.  
"tell him to show up next time, we miss him!" she smiled to the young woman and Andy thanked her for the ride.  
She took her bag lying on the feet when she noticed a car parked outside the cabin, she didn't recognise it and approached the small woodblock carefully when she saw Sam sleeping on the long chair with the legs stretched on the table.  
"What are you doing here?" he opened his eyes.  
"waiting for you, McNally." He was serious and his gaze intense. She went on the stairs and dropped the bag at her feet.  
"let's go in, it's getting cold" The sun was ready to go behind the highest mountain mirroring its big figure on the lake. They had only 3 hours before total darkness.  
"on your 6, boss!" he jumped on his feet and followed her inside.  
she repressed a half smile._


	10. Chapter 10

_SPOILER CONTENT- READ AT THE END_ _  
I own nothing from the tv show. I hope you guys are ok and I hope you will like what you will read. I did my best to make it really sweet and not boring, your opinions will tell. I thank you so much for your support, fundamental in the early phase of a writer.  
As always, keep commenting. Even if I don't reply to each of you, I read your opinion very carefully as I'd like to be considered if I was the one writing._

 _The sun was gently appearing behind the mountain, playing with the reflex of the light on the lake surface. It was chilly, but there wasn't a single cloud in the sky.  
Andy went out of the car with the plastic bags full of things bought in the only supermarket of the village and walked toward the patio of the cabin.  
The rain fallen during the night was leaving her foot prints in the mud. She put down the bags to take off the boots before going into the kitchen.  
She had spent some hours the night before trying to understand what she wanted to do with that man: fighting was a lost cause and she knew that at this point wherever she run he would have followed.  
Sam was still sleeping: she left a note on the table earlier so that he didn't think she left him there alone. She took the piece of paper and threw it into the trash, when she heard his steps on the wood stairs.  
"Good morning! hey I went out to buy something.. the fridge was half empty."  
He was bare foot and bare chest. Such a vision. She looked in his eyes and she could say he hadn't slept much. He sat down at the table and took an apple from the basket on it.  
"why don't you sleep a bit more?" he looked at her after a moment, and put down the apple  
"I wanna talk."  
"ok."  
"wanna do it here?"  
"I guess it's fine"  
"Ok, so…"  
"how you doing?"  
"I'm fine, ok."she smiled shyly at him, but her expression wasn't so convincing.  
"I wouldn't say it. How is the job?"  
"Not bad, it's a quiet place. Peaceful I would say. There is not so much to do"  
"It's not 15 then!"  
"yeah"  
they both giggled about it, but then returned serious. It was becoming awkward like the first time they really faced their feelings years ago.  
"Have you talked to Nash this week?" she furrowed her forehead at that question but then she shook her head.  
"Nope, why you ask?"  
"Andy… Tom came at the office to look for me and wanted to have a fight. He punched me a bit." She opened her mouth. She couldn't believe at what he had just said.  
"Don't worry, Nick and Diaz stopped him before he could smash a glass on my head." Her breath became irregular and she closed her eyes. She had taken this from him.  
"I am so sorry, Sam. I swear it, I had no idea. Trace didn't tell me anything of this. Are you ok? When did it happen?"  
"I'm fine, don't worry. I just told you because you deserved to know. It happened last month."  
"I'm sorry if I caused you any problem. I am so sorry..I…" she couldn't keep tears anymore and she let them run on her face.  
"It's all right, Andy! You have no responsibility for that, it's not your fault!" he took her hand and gently stroked his fingers on it.  
"I told you because, well… he was high and he said it was my fault… that I deserved to be punished for what I did… and I guessed you had left him" she nodded while cleaning her tears off.  
"I left him before Christmas. Before moving to 34th"  
"Andy why he said that?"she looked down, trying to imagine that horrible scene of Tom punching Sam. She could have thrown up there on the table.  
"how's Marlo Sam?"  
"Andy, answer my question.."  
"I'll answer if you answer mine" he sighed hard and moved on his chair but kept his gaze in her eyes "Honestly, I don't know. Hope fine after all"  
"after what?"  
"uh,uh.. it is your turn, now!" he smiled at her, and that loving expression made her feel much better "I told him I couldn't stay with him. Because you would have come first, always"  
she finally looked back at him and saw his eyes shining. Maybe there was hope. Her heart was heavy but after all that loliness of the past months she felt it beating again. She could hear it pumping the blood in her veins.  
"Ok" it's the only thing he said back, when she definitely hoped for a very different reaction. She was falling apart again, in her darkness. She didn't forgive him the first time, why should he forgive her now? She looked back at her hands, he had released the grip on her. She felt the cold of the room already pervading her body.  
"But why leaving like this?you didn't even say hello.. to me, to Oliver, to the other guys.. it was like a thunder in the blue sky. You disappeared and Nash refused to talk about your motives. We were all concerned."  
"How could I have justified it, Sam? by saying what, that I was leaving because you were marrying Marlo?"  
"WHAT?Who told you that?"  
"I heard it by myself.. look you don't need to explain.. I understand…"  
"Andy I've never wanted to marry Marlo! I've never asked her! She really wanted that and she pushed me for a while, but I didn't want to and she couldn't accept, I guess!"  
"Listen, I saw her talking about it more than once and I assumed you did. And I knew I had to go." "Without asking me?" he was perplexed about her choice.  
"Asking what? I kicked you out of my flat the last time we talked. I had no choice! She was there with you and you looked happy with her, she'll make your future better than me"  
"Andy, I don't think you've listened to me about what I just said. She's gone. I don't stay with her anymore. Is it clear now?" she nodded shyly and became silent, but her relief was getting bigger. "What happened?" it's the only thing she could say right there and she wanted to know  
"I am not ready to talk about it, it's.."  
"you don't have to. Sorry I asked."they still hold silence but kept looking at each other  
"I want you come back to the 15"  
"Sam, I can't… I need to stay there at least for other 6 months before I can ask to be transferred again, it's the procedure."  
He was clearly pissed and looked away as he was trying to plan something, but there was not much to do.  
"I don't want you to stay away from me anymore. So if you can't move, I'll move with you" WHAT? "Sam you adore that place! It's your home. You can't leave!"  
"You promise to be back as soon as you can?" she said yes with no hesitation.  
"But again, six months without seeing you? No way. Move in with me. Stay with me. Forever. I want that forever." Her heart was pounding hard. Those magic words were the only thing she wanted to hear.  
"Ok" she whispered. She was scared but she would have never let that feeling win again. He smiled back, joyful as a baby and closed his hand on hers even more.  
"are you hungry?"  
"starving" he answered, staring at her in a charming gaze. She laughed hard, but she didn't give away anything.  
"I'll make pancakes while you shave"  
"what are you talking about?" he said in a very complaining mood, touching that long beard proudly. "you don't like it?"  
"it's weird and you're a cop. You must shave, you know that" she turned around smirking at him "that's why I've bought shaving foam and shaving knife" she was putting vegetable in the sink and after no answer from Sam she turned around concerned.  
"why didn't you buy razor blades?"  
"Sam we are in the middle of Canada… there was none. "  
"well, I don't know how to use that knife then" so he thought she would have dropped the idea, but he had no luck. She was already smiling back.  
"I know how to do that"he paused, really concerned this time.  
"do what exactly?"  
"using the knife!" she thought it was obvious, but she got his fear and rolled back her eyes, she was having fun of him.  
"I won't cut your throat! Promise" she put a hand on her heart, solemnly.  
"no no no" he was already walking out of the kitchen.  
"Sam, the scissors are in the bathroom, first shelf on the right!" she talked him back, watching him disappearing in the bath.  
"scissors? No why! You'll make me bleed to death!" he barked back.  
"take two seats, fill the sink with the water, I'm on the way" he watched her removing the plastic around the shaving knife and saw his eyes widening.  
"Andy, we can do whatever you want, but not this"  
"Sam, trust me. I did it to my father for years after he quitted the police corp. His hand was always shaking and he couldn't do that" he released his tension a bit, but he wasn't convinced.  
"ok, but I know I'll regret it"  
"you won't, relax Swarek!" she took his hand and drove him to the bathroom.  
She made him sit down, she took two towels and the scissors and started to cut the beard in excess "you should have done this at least two weeks ago" he attempted an answer she didn't let him  
"If you move I cut you" he blanked and whitened and that look made her laugh hard. His eyes were laughing too then.  
"so, I guess I should enjoy this moment. It's a privilege few may have. You…. depending on me." She was teasing him, imagining if he wanted to say something about that, but he stayed in silence as she requested.  
She removed beard here and there, then put some foam on a hand and started to gently place it on the left side of his face. He watched her doing the job, concentrating and professionally. He didn't expect that. How lucky he was, that's what he thought. Why they didn't do it before!  
"you seem lost, Swarek, I'd like to know what you think" that made him smile. It was his turn to take advantage.  
He tried to smile "don't move" she repeated stroking his knee. He was dreaming at every touch she was going through. She was so gentle he made him feel cured. Loved.  
He let her continue and kept observing her: her hand, the efficiency in her movements, the colour of her hair, her stunning body, her little nose.  
"Sam, I know what you're doing" he giggled this time "uh,uh?!" she reproved him in a whisper. Now she had the knife in her hands.  
"relax and trust me" she saw his tension.  
She put the knife at the top of his cheek and pulled it down, just a couple of inches. She removed the foam from the blade and repeated the gesture again. He was concentrating on her hand and the sound the movement was producing.  
Then they came to the hardest part: the throat. "stay relaxed, ok?" he nodded and closed his eyes. She was more concentrated now. She perfectly did it and when she was done he opened his eyes and there she could laugh. His eyes promised a sweet revenge.  
She finally removed it all and then wetted a towel to wash away the residual foam. Then took the second towel and she did it again.  
Then took some aftershave – a David Hoff her father left there last time – and put it some on his cheeks and neck and massaged it for a couple of minutes. Sam closed his eyes and enjoyed it.  
When she took her hands off, he felt the cold hitting his face. The smell was very good, he like it. They looked at each other for a while.  
"I wish we did this before" he whispered while leaning toward her, studying her expression.  
"We never had the chance, but we can do it again" "I wanna say thank you" now only some inches were separating them. She watched him looking at her lips and she let him kiss her.  
The kiss was gentle and oh-so soft. She closed her eyes but then he suddenly released her and watched her dreaming for more. He giggled a bit.  
"that's my little revenge McNally" her funny incredulous expression said all her frustration, but he didn't change his mind.  
"you said breakfast, right?" _

_They spent the whole morning cleaning the patio and the entrance of the cabin from the mug, the leaves and the dust brought by the wind the night before. While Sam was cooking lunch, Andy cleaned the old boat parked on the back, left there by so many years that she doubted it could float and not sink.  
"Andy, come her let's eat!"  
"Sam, come here a second"  
"what's that?"  
"a small boat my father used to fish when I was young"  
"if the weather stays, we could use it then! We can get sun-tanned!" he smiled back at her  
"Sam, you will get burnt with this sun! Despite, we don't have a swimming-suit!" he turned around, smirking at her. "who said we need one?"  
she reproved him but then laughed hard.  
"my pleasure, Swarek!"  
"you won't be the only one enjoying!"  
He disappeared in the kitchen while she was taking out all the stuff inside the boat. The boat was pretty dry inside and she thought there would have been no problem at using it, even if it had a smell of humidity and old memories._

" _Sam, don't row so fast! I can't keep up with you! We'll move in circle this way!"  
"McNally, give me your row!"  
"Sam.. I can do it…"  
"I'll do it, come on. You just lie down over there and enjoy the trip, ok?"  
She opted for a top and shorts and he was wearing a par of men's shorts of her father.  
"Sam?"  
"what ?"  
"how can we start over after all that happened?"  
"We'll start over because I love you and you do love me. We'll start over because I want you to be in my life, McNally or I wouldn't have done all this mess!"  
"Right… I mean there are things that didn't work before and we need to change them"  
He pause for a second and then started to row again.  
"you mean opening up, talking, no more hiding things?"  
"exactly." She sat up again and watched him straight in the eyes.  
"Sam, I know how hard is talking for you… so please, take your time… I mean… I am here to listen, not to judge… whatever it is, what I think and feel about you won't change. Ever. Ok?"  
he nodded, uncomfortably, the sun in front of him was hiding emotions he was trying to repress. "Sam, don't hide, it's me, just me and you."  
She stood up to place a kiss on his cheek and for a big hug.  
His look made her understand the fear he kept inside and that he really needed sometime. This time she wouldn't have pressured him as before, she would have waited, she would have been patient, knowing that it was worth it._


	11. Chapter 11

_I own nothing from the tv show. I hope you guys are ok and I hope you will like what you will read. I did my best to make it sound dreamy, but I believe I succeeded only partially. I let you say the last word.  
I still don't know if this is gonna be the last chapter I write since I believe that when a story becomes too long it becomes boring too.  
I'd love to thank again all those people that are so nice in the comments sending back to me. You are in my heart.  
Thanks to any of you spending sometimes reading my story, I really appreciate it. If you have comment or suggestions, report it, it will be welcome. _

_It was around 10 o'clock when they heard a thunder breaking the silence over the lake. They were outside in the patio eating the dinner that Sam had cooked.  
"where did you learn cooking?" it was really delicious the plate of meat in front of her.  
"I've worked in a restaurant during the first summer after the academy. I wasn't cooking, actually I was a waiter, but the chef was a friend of mine."  
"Do I know the place?" she said while chewing and tasting.  
"I don't think so. The name was 'THE HIT'. It closed some years ago."  
"never heard."  
"rain is coming, faster than the last time. We have half an hour before it starts falling"  
"you know this place very well.."  
"I come here frequently. I've spent every summer here with my father after my mom left. Today is almost empty, but once it was full of families. Many children I made friendship with."  
"friendship?" she laughed and eyed at him, knowing what he implied.  
"Sam, I wasn't popular among boys because I was a boy too. I started to dress up like a girl when I went to the high school and I couldn't hide anymore that my body was changing".  
He stayed silent and then left a confession on the table.  
"I used to punch when I was at the high school and I've never been got. Not even once. Actually, the colour of my eyes said it all aloud, but no one ever asked me what happened".  
"why you did that?" she was genuinely curious.  
"I couldn't stand the world around me. I was always mad with everyone." she looked down and picked up the last bean on his plate.  
"Mad about what?"  
He stayed silent and the rain stated to fall over the roof making a plastic regular sound.  
"time's up!" he said, standing up and starting to clean the table. She followed him, knowing how well he avoided the answer and knowing what would have happened in seconds. She barely had the time to close all the windows and the shash windows when the rain turned into a storm. She got out of the cabin, and she covered the boat. When she went back inside, Sam had already cleaned up the stoves and the kitchen.  
They stared at each other, without knowing what to do.  
"I 've seen a chessboard upstairs, why don't we play?"  
It was good idea since they had no tv, so there was no chance for a movie.  
"Ok" she barely remembered the rules, but she accepted anyway._

 _"McNally… what you doing? That's the worst move ever."  
"ok, fine I confess it, I don't remember the rules!" he laughed and moved all the elements on the chess casually.  
"what's that for?" she was giggling and trying to stop him by holding his hands when suddenly the rain started to hit even harder and the lights went off.  
"oh, no. the power generator is gone." She stood up looking for her phone to have some light.  
"wait, I'm gonna take mine too, good idea"  
"I must have a second generator somewhere but it's in the depandance, which is outside of course". "well, then we will wait. There's not much we can do."  
He smiled at her, but that moment wasn't awkward.  
"wait, I have a couple of candles in the bath, we can use them".  
"ok, fine but we need to look over them or this place will be on fine in a minute!" he wasn't wrong "We'll keep them until we stay up and then we switch them off." He nodded and sat down at the table. She took a couple of matches and she scratched them against the little box containing them to ignite the fire. He held the candle to help until the rope took fire.  
"well, McNally, I must say this is not a first" she turned around to look at him in the eyes. She stayed in silence and kept staring.  
"Last time was pretty romantic, wasn't it?"  
"yes it was. Sam, I'm sorry for that night. You've been nice with me and I've been a jerk."  
"I wish we could do that again. It looks like nature is giving us a second chance, isn't it?" he didn't make a move. He wasn't sure she wanted the same.  
She turned around and took a glass of water. She put it down in one sip and turned to face him.  
The weak light colouring his face was enough to reveal how much he wanted her back, emotionally and physically. But again, she was afraid to ruin the nice weekend they were spending together._

 _The rain became a silent intruder between them and she proposed to open some window. It was dark outside, but at least they could walk in the cabin without falling down on the stairs or against some furniture.  
They were in the main bedroom and he was helping her opening an old window when they stopped and observed the rain gently hitting the surface of the lake.  
The smell of the rasin filled their nose in a mixture of wood and flower scent.  
"Andy, I'm sorry about what I said before.. I didn't want to… I'm such an idiot."  
"Don't worry, it's ok." She said quietly, but there was more.  
"Sam, I am afraid to run too fast and lose you again, that's why I haven't said anything".  
She turned to him and he grabbed her little face between his hands, gently stroking her cheek with his fingers.  
"I will never leave you again Andy, I promise you. Andy, leaving you has been the biggest mistake I have ever made and I won't do it again. What for? Dying in pain? You have me, you always had, even when I wasn't with you."  
_ _"Sam...what happened with Marlo?" he hesitated. He knew she needed to know.  
"She kicked me out of her place after I called your name while I was sleeping. It happened the day Tom showed up."  
"Ouch" that must have hurt her.  
"That's it?"  
"Yes. Andy, I was staying with her because she works like me. She doesn't make me pressure, it's not complicate because I could avoid her if I wanted to. I can't do that with you. You make me face the truth. You make me grow up, you know what's good for me, even when it hurts. She is not capable of this. You got that the biggest enemy I have is myself. And if I want you I gotta kill the devil before the sun goes down. And I will because I know that if I don't, I'll lose you. I can't let this happen." __  
He kissed her forehead and cuddled her among his arms, her head leaning on his chest. She could hear his heart beating faster and faster until that rhythm became hers. It wasn't an urgency, it was a profound need, a pray.  
She raised her head to face him and kiss him. Their lips barely touched, with some hesitation, then softly and gently, tasting the slow and the kindness of the moment until she raised the chin to make the kiss more passionate.  
She lifted on her tiptoes and he closed his hug on her waist, stroking her back up to her neck and pulling her closer. They departed only to take a breath, patting a bit.  
_ _"Andy we don't need to if you're not sure of this. You choose."  
" Promise to love me, Sam, not to abandon me."  
"Never again, I promise." He said in a whisper._ _  
He lifted her on the table between the lamp and the window and then kissed her back again and again. They were moving like a perfect couple of tango dancers following the rhythm of the music.  
He traced a path of kisses from her lips to her neck, down her throat and then kissed her back while unbuttoning her shirt. She run her hands over his arms and shoulders to find the perfect body she remembered he had. Then he I took her trousers down, where every touch on her skin was followed by a kiss. The sequence was proving her nerves sensibly as she observed him moving on her body.  
She reached for his shirt and unbuttoned it, kissing his chest and placing her hands on it with slight touch to ignite his skin reaction. Then she run them over his back up to the top, pushing her body on his. "Andy.." he said with a dry mouth as she reached the zip of the jeans and pulled down his jeans. The sight of him ready for more made her eager of that man.  
They kissed back and this time it was a kiss of need, of desperate love. She lifted again and she felt his burning skin warming her up inside. His immense passion for her was clear and she closed him among her legs, moving her hips like in a slow dance, staring at him in the eyes and kissing the top of his shoulders. He moaned softly, repressing that sound and she smiled against his skin.  
Then, when he could not take it anymore, he lifted her and leaned her on the bed, removing the last piece of clothes she was still wearing. He kissed her at the angle of her pelvis and she reacted with an instinctive reflex.  
"Let it go, baby don't keep it inside".  
She went back to kiss her and traced some soft kiss on her breasts to tease her even more, letting her comb his hair with the fingers.  
He then kissed her again and while they were doing it, she lifted his underwear gently, to encourage him to take them off. He obeyed without complaining.  
"Andy, I don't want to be rude, but I must ask you if you take anything."  
"look in my bag, left side. Nash filled it with condoms. She said that they could be the key to have some extra fun" he laughed hard.  
"she's right, but I'm glad you don't have this attitude, McNally."  
He was unpacking the little compact box while she grabbed him gently and pulled him toward her. She did it a couple of times, enjoying Sam's eyes widening, shining and then him leaning his head on Andy's shoulder in pleasure. "Thought you weren't a fan of that attitude."  
_ _He felt like they were making love for the first time. She could so to him whatever she wanted. He was hers, all hers. He departed his lips "Andy, please I beg you to stop, please" Those words revealed all the effort he was making and then swallowed in pain._ _  
He smiled 32 teeth, eyes closed. Then swallowed in pain.  
"stop it, I'm saying that for you".  
"or what?" she did it once again, slowing it down even more. He moaned hard from his chest this time. She took the little plastic bag from his fingers and rolled it over.  
He observed her, the pride for that woman burning in his veins. He hoped he was the only one she had ever done something like this: the thought of another man doing it would have driven him crazy.  
He leaned down on her and watched her while he slightly departed her legs, almost asking permission, and stroked her with the tip of the fingers.  
"Oh, Sam!" she swallowed hard before pressing her against him, searching for more and he obeyed at that request. He filled her, but refused to move at first, just kissing her lips, her cheeks, her nose and her closed eyes.  
"Sam ,please!" she was begging and he was struggling not to move, to delay their pleasure. Finally, he started to move slowly, at a regular pace.  
They were drowning in each other eyes, their breath faster, kissing sometimes. She grabbed his head and pressed her lips over his, he responded with a deep kiss, full of passion and love. Damn it, it was good, so good.  
"Baby.." he tried to say something but they increased their rhythm until she cried out and he followed, collapsing on her, calling her name.  
They lied over there without moving, their body exhausted, before turning one to the other. "Hi" she said in a husky, thirsty voice. "Hi" he replied, happy and physically tired, flying over the moon.  
Outside, the rain had finally stopped falling.  
_


End file.
